Page 75 of One Wild Wish

Her chin trembled. More moisture shone in her eyes. “Yours,” she said hoarsely. “I’m always on your side, which is why I want you to give them a second chance. So you can heal.”

I could barely look at the woman I thought I loved. “It’s like you don’t even know me. Like you haven’t listened to a word I’ve said the past months.”

“But that’s the thing—I have heard you. I heard your voice when you talked about the winery, the longing and the heartache in it. That place is a part of you. Tearing it down will destroy any chance of returning there, of ever fixing things with your family. And I know your father is a stubborn grump…but he’s also sweet. Once, at the gym, I was telling him about my boyfriend—about you. And he—”

“Jesus. I don’t want to hear about the time you bonded with the asshole who told me I was a mistake. I’m not the mistake here, but you and I…” The air thickened in my throat. “You and I apparently are. I’m done with my family. Done with falling for the wrong women. This is just… I can’t keep…” Breathing hard, I jabbed the toe of my sneaker into the floor. “You’d better go.”

Her tears streamed then, and I wanted to reach for her. Apologize and rewind. Tell her I loved her so much it hurt. It all felt so real, her anguish.

But if she truly loved me, she would stand by me when it counted. She wouldn’t be here, begging me to forgive my parents and turn a blind eye to the wines they’d defiled. Her devastation was either an act to keep me and the winery she craved, or her version of love needed an overhaul. Whatever her motivation, I was done being used. I was done always finishing last.

Never again would I let a woman close to my heart.

She walked toward the door, but stopped with her hand on the knob. She looked over her shoulder, eyes wet with tears and…something else. Something forlorn twisted her features, as though she were lost. “I never expected to meet a man like you. You made me better, made me feel so much. And this pain right now? It’s because of you, too. I love you more than I thought I could ever love another person. I’ve also never felt so betrayed. I’m not Sophia. You’re the one I care about, not your family or your money. But you’ve got the chance to fix things before it’s too late, and that’s a chance I never had. I know how much more that hurts than anything your parents said in anger. Don’t ruin it the way you just ruined us.”

With that she left. She didn’t slam the door. She walked out, stoic, but my fortitude slipped. It downright shattered. The finality of her words and the desolation on her face sent ice through my veins. The walls spun. They fucking tilted.

I dropped forward, hands to my knees. My temples pulsed with a strobe light of shame. I still couldn’t see the truth, couldn’t recognize a tree in the forest pressing closer. I had no clue if I was right or wrong or just plain stupid. I was sure I was over Sophia’s actions, past all that bullshit. Had I been deluding myself?

Everything was tangled—her, my parents, however the hell Rachel had met my father. I tried to picture him at the gym, but couldn’t imagine the man in sweats. He was always in slacks, thinning hair slicked back, dress shirts crisply ironed. If I didn’t feel like I was about to puke, the image would have been comical.

The contest was in three hours. That left one hundred and eighty minutes to figure out what to do. I grabbed my workout bag and boxing gloves, shooting out the door and peeling off on my bike to the gym.

When my first punch landed on the leather bag, the vibration rattled up my neck. I hit harder. And harder.

Whack.Sophia tearing out my heart.

Whack.My parents capsizing my life.

Whack.Rachel crying.

Whack.Rachel hurting.

Whack.Rachel walking out the door.

Whack. Whack. Whack.

I punched until my knuckles throbbed, pummeled the bag until I could barely hold up my arms. It took an hour before my mind began to clear. Thoughts I’d avoided for years got knocked loose, each memory more painful than the last. I’d buried them, thinking it was the only way to move on. All I’d done was let them fester, poison me. Air sliced through my lungs as I slumped on a bench, towel around my neck. Sweat dripped off my forehead.

Rachel must have been telling the truth. Too much had happened between us for it to all have been lies. She hadn’t been taking their side, she’d been trying to do what she thought was best for me, so I didn’t live with devastating regrets. I’d been too messed up to listen, to see.

I saw now.

A right hook to the jaw would hurt less.

There was only one way to make things right. I had to get her back; that wasn’t optional. But I had to sort my life first. Stop running and deal with my family and my past.