Page 99 of The Sound of Harmony

“Tell me what?” Emma’s voice rose. “That I’m excellent at my job? Yes, I am. That there’s more to this work than boxes and labels? Yes, there is. This job takes creativity and spatial skills and a brain that can hold a dozen to-do lists at once. It takes empathy and people skills and most of all, it takes someone who actually listens to her clients.”

“I sincerely meant—”

“You know what, Luke? Keep it. I don’t care about your opinion. I don’t need your approval. And I don’t give an eight-by-ten, perfectly aligned, wooden-framed fuck what you think of me. Goodbye.”

She mashed her thumb on the button to end the call and handed Maude back the phone. She breathed hard, sucking in air through her nostrils. Her neck was sweating and her stomach had a harsh rumble in it. She was probably fired. Her first day back at work and she’d already blown her only job.

She also felt amazing.

A little smile tugged at the corner of her mouth, and then a bigger one. Maude smiled back, and then giggled, and then the two of them were laughing out loud, doubling over and holding each other up.

The thump of Murray’s cane announced his arrival. He looked at the two of them, shrugged, and then retreated without saying a word. A moment later he called from the kitchen, “Coffee’s ready!”

“Come on,” Maude said. “I’ll pour you a cup.”

“I’ve had enough coffee for one day,” Emma said, pointing to the phone in Maude’s hand. “Can’t you tell?”

Maude patted her shoulder. “That was a beautiful thing to witness. I expected him to apologize and I hoped you’d accept it, but this was much better. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say that much at once.”

“I’ll probably regret it later.” It would be one of those things to cringe about at three o’clock in the morning.

“Please don’t,” Maude said. “Don’t ever. Because Luke deserved every bit of that.”

Emma’s phone buzzed in her pocket and she took a discreet peek. Text from Gwendolyn. I checked with both CU and OSU. Registration for next semester is open.

She smiled at Maude. “Go ahead and get your coffee. I’ll catch up.”

Emma tapped the back of the phone case with a fingernail, thinking about her response. She started typing, erased, tried again, erased. She finally put the phone away without answering. She and Gwendolyn had a deal, and at the time, it had seemed like a reasonable one, but now she wasn’t so sure.

Her phone buzzed again, this time from Brooke.

Did you hear that Deja is going on maternity leave? You might not be able to come back to the library forever but it might tide you over if you wanted to fill in for her.

That was spooky, but she didn’t think Brooke had coordinated with Gwendolyn. She texted them both often enough that their messages often came back-to-back. But today, it felt like a sign. One that she should pay attention to. Things were falling into place for her, she had help and support, and it would be easy to nudge her life into a different direction. A better direction.

But was it the direction she wanted to go in?

She’d been silenced. Again. She’d been silenced in the most loving way possible, by people who only wanted the best for her, but dammit, it wasn’t their say. What did she want to do? She needed to speak for herself.

She didn’t want to go back to school. She didn’t want to spend her days shelving books. Gwendolyn and Brooke both loved her dearly, but they couldn’t speak for her, they couldn’t tell her what to do, because they weren’t living her life.

As she stood in Maude and Murray’s entryway, she glanced out the front window across the street, then turned on her heel and marched back to the kitchen.

Maybe she’d made a mess of her own life, but she could bring harmony and happiness to the lives of other people. That’s all she ever wanted to do.

In the kitchen, she took the coffee pot from its burner and refilled Maude and Murray’s mugs.

“So,” she said, taking a seat. “Where should we begin today?”