Page 78 of The Scent of Happiness

“Lin laid it all out for me,” Mr. Blue said without slowing.

“Sir, if I could—”

“It’s best if you don’t talk to me about it, Chambers. I don’t need the liability. Your explanations are your own. I want to care, but I can’t.”

Theo stopped walking, letting Mr. Blue heave his bulk through the rest of the hallway alone. Did his words echo in the corridor? No, that was impossible, because all the air seemed to be sucked out of the room, and didn’t sound need air to travel?

I want to care, but I can’t.

Theo’s gut was filled with gravel, each rock a confirmation of his failure. In law firms, you either moved up or got out. Without Mr. Blue’s support, he could forget about ever making partner, and if he didn’t stand a chance of that, then what was he even doing here?

Theo marched back to Stephen’s office and burst through the door. “What did you say to him?”

Stephen stood next to the open window, frozen in the act of tapping a cigarette into his hand. “You ever hear of knocking?”

Theo stood in place. “I came in here to tell you that you don’t have to worry about the Dixie Dawson case anymore. I came here to grovel, to let you rub shit in my face. But I apparently need to turn around because you’ve been talking shit behind my back.”

“Careful,” Stephen warned.

“What did you tell Mr. Blue?”

“Nothing. He told me. You think the big man doesn’t know what’s going on in his own firm? He saw you dragging out that case. It’s got my name on it, so Mr. Blue came to me, wanting to know why. I had to tell him something.”

“Did you tell him I’m having a mental breakdown?”

“I didn’t deny it when he came to that conclusion.” Stephen put his unlit cigarette between his lips. “I tried to protect you, kid.”

“How is that going to protect me?”

“The alternative is that you’re stupid. I could have told Mr. Blue that.”

Theo slammed his coffee cup onto Stephen’s desk, spilling hot liquid over the sides. “Dammit, Stephen. I did everything you told me to. And you sold me out.”

“I didn’t make you sleep with that girl.”

“No, but you enjoyed making me sing and dance once I did. I had a secret, and you had something to exploit. What was it you said? I’d owe you for the rest of my life?”

Stephen used his cigarette as a pointer. “I tried to warn you.”

They stood in silence for a long moment. A tree branch scratched the window. The heating system kicked on. Stephen’s computer hummed. Theo’s felt like his skin was crumbling, his face collapsing into rubble.

“You’re right,” he said. “You tried. I should have listened.”

Theo walked out, leaving his coffee behind. The hallways of Walker Blue didn’t have lockers in them, but he felt himself being shoved into them anyway. No one was behind him with a rat-tail towel, yet he could feel the sting on his legs. A foot stuck out to trip him, a snide remark at his back. This seat is taken. You aren’t one of us. You’re a loser.

How? How did he finish high school, finish college, finish law school, only to find himself back in junior high? The same people on the same power trips. And just like in school, there wasn’t anyone he could confide in. No one who would listen.

You’re a loser. His father’s voice this time. Words his father had never said. Words he didn’t have to say because his actions made them clear. His family wasn’t good enough for him. Would never be good enough, so why stick around?

Theo closed his office door and leaned on it. His chess set stood inside the door, in the midst of his opening move, ready for play.

He lifted the edge of the board and flipped it, scattering the pieces onto the floor.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Brooke rushed down Main Street from the bus stop at the corner. She was already ten minutes late for work and she still had two blocks to go.

She’d hit snooze on her first alarm of the morning, and somehow forgot to set her two backup alarms. When she woke up, she’d thrown on yesterday’s clothes, bundled her hair into a ponytail, and popped on the first pair of glasses she could find. A quick tooth brushing, a handful of granola bars in her bag, and she flew out the door and sprinted down the street just in time to see her regular bus pull away from the stop.