Page 39 of The Song of the Void

“You’re weak right now, old man,” he taunted.

It was nice seeing him so lively, but if they kept roughhousing, Rei’s injuries might actually reopen.

“Leave the old man alone or he might break a hip,” I said.

“Stop calling me an old man, both of you.”

I helped Rei to stand from where he had been glowering at Ash on the floor. “What are you going to do if he isn’t fully recovered when we get to Ghrysim Isle, hm? I’m not fighting off hordes of angry Mourners for you, Ashkade. Has the captain given any update on our timeline?”

I assumed we were around three weeks out from our final destination, and Ash confirmed.

His eyes darted between Rei and I and dipped to where I still held Rei’s hands. “So…nice to see you two’re gettin’ along. Gettin’ along swell, huh?”

“Not really,” both of us said in tandem, releasing each other.

“Uh, Blue brings up a good point, Ash.” Rei changed the subject with all the grace of a drunk sailor attempting ballet. “And there's one more thing that worries me about our journey to the island…That pirate.”

Even if he didn’t say his name, my throat constricted, and I froze. Since Vaetrik was guiding Shaddan to Ghrysim Isle, we would certainly run into him again. Ashkade tapped his chin and the two of them threw around some ideas about the timing of when they would arrive at Ghrysim Isle compared to us, and possible courses of action.

I lost myself in a whirlwind of quiet panic, each and every thought peppered with Vaetrik's soft, controlling voice and laughter. My back hit something solid, and I leaned against the wall, grateful for something to support me, though I hadn't meant to retreat into it. A part of me wanted to slide down the wall and curl up on the floor. Just thinking about Vaetrik stole away the strength in my body. It wasn't even dark in our room, yet somehow, the shadows in the corners of the ceiling seemed to stretch, to reach for me with oppressive tendrils.

“Answer me, pet.”

I squeezed my eyes closed. It didn't help to shut out his voice in my head. There was just no escaping him.

“You really love me, Zephra?” I hated that I had been foolish enough to tell him that. “Would you want to come aboard my ship? I’ll introduce you to my friends. It’ll be fun.”

Deep breaths. He isn't here.

I recoiled when someone touched my shoulder, though there wasn't anywhere for me to go but to shrink harder against the wall.

Ash furrowed his brows and carefully retracted his hand. “What's wrong?”

“N-nothing. It's nothing.”

“Bullshit,” Rei said. He folded his arms across his chest, lips thinning into an unyielding glower. “You were so afraid of him you could hardly talk. What are you going to do the next time we run into him, Blue? Go all silent again, maybe cry?” I balled my hands into fists, but he continued, his voice cold, but not quite cruel. “It pissed me off to no end, that you're so snippy and tough when it comes to me and anyone else, but with him, you're just a frightened girl. You fell apart like wet paper the moment you saw him.”

“Y-you don’t…you don't know what he did to me.”

“No, I don't. But I can guess.” He leveled the empty void of his gaze at me and pushed Ashkade out of the way to take his place in front of me. It wasn't quite threatening, but I pressed harder against the wall anyway. “You're allowing him to dictate your state of mind. What if you're the only thing standing between him and Ash? What then?”

My fingers grasped uselessly at the grainy wood of the ship wall behind me. I’d do anything to escape from the images Reiven was putting in my head, even break all my nails clawing through the wall. But I was frozen, thinking about a future where Vaetrik got the upper hand and ordered me to watch him kill Ash. I’d be helpless to stop him.

“I…I…” Even without Vaetrik’s presence, I couldn't get my voice to work.

“Stand up to him next time. You aren't his pet. He can't control you.”

Easy for you to say.

“I know it won't be easy, but if you don't get a handle on your fear, you're always going to be running away from him. Even when you go home to the Abyssal Deep.” He set his jaw. “You said before that I reminded you of him. So pretend I'm him, and tell me everything you want to say to him. Then it'll be easier when it's the real deal.” He spoke quietly, but an undeniable bitterness laced his words.

“You…You're angry at me for comparing you to him, aren't you?”

“Of course I am.”

Ashkade tried to interject, but the two of us waved him away. We were too busy holding each other’s icy stares.

I missed the surprisingly warm smile Reiven had given me just the previous night. Maybe I had dreamed it all up, and he was still awful as always. “If Ash didn't keep you in check, you'd be just as horrible as Vaetrik. I picked up on your cruelty from the moment we met because it was so familiar.”