Page 65 of The Blessing

“Yeah, it can be one of the many reasons you keep me around,” she responds with a wink. “I’ll let you finish getting ready. I still have to get your son dressed, and God knows how long that can take.” She gives me a quick peck on the lips before stepping out of the bathroom to retrieve Grey.

Running a hand through my hair again, I smile at my reflection. Despite the copious number of tattoos I’ve acquired over the years, I feel like I look more “professional.” Or at least, what so many of my mom’s friends deem “professional” people look like. I’ve got to say, I feel much more attractive. And my newfound confidence makes me want to go grab Ronnie and relieve some of my pint-up stress. I’m so wound up—I need to do something to release my tension. However, I know we’ve got to get on the road soon, and I’ve never been good about keeping “quickies” quick.

When we finally make it to the car with everything packed and ready to go—it’s just past noon and I’m already mentally fucking exhausted. I just want a cigarette to calm my nerves, but since I’ve kicked that vice, I focus on Ronnie’s lips instead. As soon as Grey is safely buckled in his car seat in the back of her car I crash my lips against hers—searching for some sort of solace before we begin our journey.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to drive part of the way?” Ronnie asks, as soon as I pull away from her.

I know what she’s really trying to say: “Are you sure you’re going to be okay on this trip?” She has this gentle way about her, where she’ll show her concern without making me feel like a giant pussy for needing her the way I do.

“I’ll be fine, baby. I can drive the whole way without any trouble,” I assure her.

I give her one quick peck before opening the passenger door for her. As soon as I shut the door, I take a deep breath and hope this trip will go fucking well for us. I close my eyes—saying a silent prayer—and open them again to take one final look at our apartment building.

I slide into the driver’s seat and pull out my phone, handing it to Ronnie so she can program the GPS. After giving her the phone, I take a moment to appreciate how fucking hot my girl looks today. With pigtails, a sweatshirt that’s snug across her tits, and running pants that make her legs look miles long—I don’t know how I’ll keep my hands to myself during this trip. Maybe I won’t.

“What are you gawking at?” she playfully asks as she enters the address of our hotel on the GPS app.

“You,” I answer with an unapologetic smirk. “I love these,” I say as I reach out to tug on one of her pigtails.

She grabs my hand and pulls it to her mouth for a quick kiss on the back of my hand before letting go. “I thought you would. You want to stop to get some drinks on the way before we get on the highway?”

I nod and kiss her once more before putting on my seatbelt. I turn on the radio for Grey and look at him in the rearview mirror. He’s babbling in the backseat in what sounds like an attempt to sing along with the kids voices on the radio. As much as I fucking hate pop music—especially the type of shit that sounds like Kids Bop—I can’t exactly listen to metal with a little baby in the backseat. He’s heard my ringtone once when Ronnie called me and had a fit; he cried for ten minutes after hearing a few seconds of a song. Apparently, my little guy really hates the Deftones.

We listen to his attempts at singing as we pull away from of our apartment complex and onto the road. His babbles are beginning to sound like actual words. Well, they’re beginning to sound like some very small words. I wonder what his second word will be. I’ve been trying to expand his vocabulary, but I don’t know how much of it Grey is soaking up. Whenever Ronnie is out of earshot, I try to get him to say “mama.” He’s gotten close on several occasions, but he still stumbles around the word and ends up babbling randomly. Although, he almost did say “mama” last night. Ronnie had fallen asleep on the couch and while I sat beside her, I quickly coached him as he sat on my lap.

“Come on, buddy, try again. Try to say ‘mama,’ ” I quietly coax him as he looks up at me with curious eyes.

I give him an encouraging grin as I watch him move his mouth as he watches mine enunciate the word for him. His little mouth opens and closes in time with mine, trying to imitate exactly what I’m doing. He almost says it, but unfortunately his opened mouth transforms into a tired yawn. Then, much to my surprise, he opens his mouth again and I give him another encouraging smile as I listen.

“Ma ah ah,” he babbles before giving me a proud smile.

He’s so close I can’t believe it. I kiss his forehead and give him some praise, hoping the parenting book I purchased for myself will begin to start paying off. “Good, buddy! You’re so close. Can you say ‘mama’?”

I give him ample time to try, and just as he begins to say it, Ronnie awakens at our side. She rubs her sleepy eyes and gives us a lethargic grin.

“Ma me ma!” Grey screams, before clapping his hands together at his success.

Ronnie giggles at him, obviously oblivious to the word he’s trying to say. “What are you two doing?”

I shrug, feeling embarrassed all of a sudden. “Not much. Just trying to learn some new words.”

I smile at the memory as I pull into the parking lot of the closest coffee shop I can find. Grey was so close to figuring it out last night—I’m sure he’ll be saying it any day now. I wonder how Ronnie will react to it. I hope it’ll make her happy, or at least, I hope it won’t frighten her off. It’s just that she’s practically Grey’s mom already and if I’m lucky enough to have her as my wife one day—I’d hope she’d want to adopt him. She loves him like he’s her own flesh and blood and Grey deserves a good woman in his life. I do, as well. I want him to have a real family. I want him to learn how to treat a woman by seeing the way I treat her. I want him to know what love is by watching the two of us as he grows up. He needs a stable environment—and I’ll do my best to give it to him.

As Ronnie goes inside to order us some drinks for the road, I get out of the car to pull Grey from his car seat. I want to hold him for a little while before we get on the highway. He begins to kick his feet in excitement as soon as I open his door and loudly squeals as I take him out of his car seat and hold him close to my chest. It’s cold outside, but Grey doesn’t seem to mind it one bit. He nuzzles his head against my jacket before looking up at me with a content smile.

“We’re going to see your grandparents tomorrow, Grey,” I tell him as if he could perfectly understand me. “Are you excited?”

His smile grows, and he babbles out a response, ending with “dada.”

“You, me, and mommy are going to stay in a hotel tonight and we’ll watch tons of movies and get some room service,” I tell him, trying to get myself hyped up by the idea. I know Grey will, most likely, be asleep by the time we get to our destination. As if on cue, he yawns in response before giving me another little grin. “Your grandparents are so excited to see you, buddy. I’m sure they have tons of stuff planned.” He giggles and gives me his little version of a hug. “Aw, I love you, buddy.”

I look up to see Ronnie coming out of the shop with a tray of two drinks in one hand and a little bag in the other. “Did you two miss me while I was gone?” she teases as she walks toward us. “I got you a quad-shot latte and a chai tea for myself. I also picked up some food for the road.” She waves the little bag brown at me and grins.

I give her a confused look as I put Grey back in his car seat. “What on Earth is a quad-whatever-the-hell you said? I thought you were just going to get coffee?”

“Well, this’ll give you more energy. It’s four shots of espresso,” she answers with a perky grin.

“Okay,” I respond, still not sounding very convinced. Since when did ordering coffee become so fucking difficult? Maybe I’d know more about these sorts of drinks if I could afford to get them. As soon as I’m buckled back into my seat, Ronnie hands me my quad-coffee-thing and gives me an eager smile as she waits for me to take a drink. I take one exaggerated sip as I try not to laugh at her.