Page 88 of The Blessing

One woman, who looks particularly flustered, quickly moves around the counter and makes her way toward us. She’s attractive… in an artificial kind of way, with hair that looks really rough and fake. I cringe as she smiles at me, preparing myself to feel extremely fucking annoyed. She flirts with me, which I consider quite odd considering the circumstances. For fuck’s sake—I’m here buying a fucking engagement ring. Obviously, I’m taken; so, I don’t really see the point of all her efforts. I do my best to ignore her and focus all of my attention on the ring selections. They’re all so beautiful, but I begin to panic as I look at the price tags. As stupid as it sounds, I had no idea how expensive engagement rings were. I have a bit of money, but not enough to buy my girl something impressive. Nonetheless, I ask to see a few rings to get Grey’s opinion. I want him to have a hand in picking out his new mommy’s ring.

“What do you think of this one, buddy?” I ask, holding up a simple ring.

It’s a small diamond with a gold band. It’s not flashy, but it’s within my price range. Grey giggles, looking at the shiny object, then grabs my hand and tries to bring the ring to his mouth. He’s a giggling, slobbering mess, but he’s still very… cute. I smile at him and pull the ring away from his reach.

“You like this one, Grey?”

Grey laughs but doesn’t seem too interested in the ring. Instead, he reaches for me until I place him against my shoulder and hold him close.

“Would you like to see another one, sir?” The saleswoman asks me in a flirtatious tone.

What the fuck is it with this chick? I roll my eyes and nod. She shows me a few more simple rings—all traditional with gold bands and diamonds. They’re all right, but they don’t seem fitting for my girl. She just doesn’t seem like the type to want some basic ring. I want something beautiful, rare, and special—just like her. Finally, my eyes fall on a ring that looks extraordinary compared to the others. It’s so different, yet so fitting for my girl. I pray it’s in my price range as I ask the saleswoman to pull it from the case.

“This engagement ring is fourteen carat white gold with a freshwater pearl surrounded by white diamonds.”

I’m thrilled to see it’s just over a grand. I turn to my son and show him the ring. “What do you think about this for mommy?”

“Mama!” Grey yells before clapping his little hands together excitedly.

“Does that mean ‘yes,’ buddy?”

Grey squeals with laughter, and drools against my shirt before promptly closing his eyes and falling to sleep. I suppose the excitement was too much for my little guy. I chuckle and look back at the ring, imagining it on Ronnie’s slim finger. My heart speeds up at the thought of her wearing my ring. I’ve never been one to dream about marriage, kids, and all of that shit, but now that I’ve found a girl I’m in love with—the thought seems fucking blissful.

The future I see for myself now is so different than what it once was. In all honesty, I never looked ahead. Drugs find a way to keep you living in the moment and the only thing you think ahead about is how and when you’ll get your next fix. I never gave a second thought about getting an education, getting a good job, or finding a good woman to settle down with. I thought I was happy all of those years. Now, I see I was just too impaired to see the truth in my reality. I’m still struggling and I know I’ll be struggling for a while. Nevertheless, for the first time in a long time I feel as though I’m taking steps in the right direction.

I purchase the ring with the last of the money my dad had gifted me. I couldn’t imagine spending the money on anything more important. If things go well, Ronnie will be wearing this ring for the rest of her life. I leave the store with a ridiculous smile on my face. Grey must sense my contentment because he’s awake and smiling, too. As I admire his chubby grin, I wonder if I should incorporate him in my proposal. My proposal… how the fuck am I going to come up with something perfect for my girl? I want him to be part of it because we’re definitely a packaged deal. Not only will I be getting a wife, I’ll be giving my son a mom. The saying “killing two birds with one stone” comes to mind.

My mind is filled with ideas concerning how to propose. Unfortunately, most of them are shit. How on Earth do men come up with this crap? Do they ask around for help or research proposals online? There’s always the cliché ideas I could easily employ, but I want to do something that’s right for me. Something that screams “Trevor.” Suddenly, an idea that isn’t complete shit comes to mind and I relax. I strap Grey into his car seat and make a call. I’m going to need help with this one.