Page 59 of The Cotswolds Christmas Fair

Jen sighed. She sat down at the table and Julia poured a glass of wine into the waiting glass, before sipping her own.

‘I don’t know, it was a bit – weird. I think I’ve upset Sarah. Again.’ She took a grateful gulp of wine.

‘What? Sarah’s lovely! How’ve you managed that?’

Jen rolled her eyes. ‘Thanks for the sisterly support.’

‘Sorry. But seriously, what happened?’

Jen explained as best she could. The tale came out garbled and confused.

Julia sucked air in through her teeth. ‘Ah.’

‘What do you mean, “ah”?’ Jen was beginning to remember why she’d stopped confiding in her sister.

‘Well, it’s just – it must be hard for her. You and Ted have always been very – close.’

Jen snorted. ‘Oh, come on. We’re just friends.’

Julia was turning the stem of her glass, focused on the wine. ‘You sure about that?’ she asked softly.

‘I – yes! Obviously we are, there’s nothing going on. He’s got a girlfriend!’

‘He’s always had a soft spot for you, though. Remember at college? When Mum and Dad split up.’

Jen stared at her. She didn’t want to talk about this. They never talked about this.

But Julia just kept speaking. ‘It was so hard for you. And I know – I know I wasn’t the best at looking after you when it happened.’ She flushed, running her hand through her hair. ‘I just – you were struggling so much and I didn’t know how to make it better, it was – it was hard for me too.’

‘What? You just glided through it, like you do with everything in life, always on top of everything, always perfect.’ Jen tried to keep the bitterness out of her voice. She didn’t quite manage.

Julia gave her a weighted look. ‘No. I didn’t. I’m just better at hiding it than you are.’

‘I wasn’t struggling that much.’

‘Jen.’ Her voice was soft, her gaze gentle, challenging Jen to be honest.

It had hit her like a juggernaut. One day, they were a happy family, and she was having fun with her friends at the nearby college, going home for holidays and enjoying being looked after by her parents. The next, her world fell apart. Their ‘happy’ marriage had been a sham. They’d managed to hold it together until she left home, and then everything fell apart. A bitter divorce followed, during which both parents turned to their daughters for support, badmouthing each other with poisonous stories.

Visits home were a nightmare of recrimination. The family house was sold. Everything Jen had believed in was torn apart – every film, every book, that promised a happy ending was exposed as a lie. And everything she thought she could count on in life crumbled away.

Everything except Ted.

‘Remember how he looked out for you?’ Julia asked.

He had spent night after night sitting with her, listening as she unpicked everything, hurt and confused. He’d held her as she wept, made her laugh with his stupid jokes, played the songs he’d written to cheer her. Helped with assignments, cajoled their friends into spending weekends hiking because being out in the countryside soothed her.

He had got her through it.

‘But that’s just – he was great, don’t get me wrong. Without him I’d never – but that’s just what friends do.’

Julia met her eye. ‘But you weren’t just friends, were you?’

Memories flooded her. Of how he’d kissed her, just before all this began. Of the nights they’d spent drinking and dancing and talking. Of the nights they’d spent together. ‘But that was – that was nothing. Over before it began.’

‘Because he didn’t want to take advantage of you.’

Jen laughed. ‘I don’t know about that.’