Page 79 of The Cotswolds Christmas Fair

Her mind was spinning. Ted and Sarah had been together for months, they were planning on moving in together. The end of a relationship as serious as that was tough; she couldn’t believe he hadn’t told her. They were supposed to be best friends.

A realisation squirmed inside her. He had tried to tell her.

Was this what he wanted to talk about, when he’d messaged? She’d been distracted, caught up in the romance of Anthony appearing out of the blue, and then in her own heartbreak. But if she’d known, she’d have made time for Ted. Of course she would.

He should have tried harder to tell her.

A thought hit her with such force that she stopped in her tracks, her stomach lurching. Not a pleasant sensation when last night’s overindulgence was still affecting her.

The girls skidded to a wobbly halt and stared at her.

‘I nearly falled over!’ Lottie cried, giggling.

‘I – sorry, girls, sorry. Let’s go.’

Jen was barely aware of the slippery street beneath their feet, or the colourful decorations sparkling in the dark evening. She hardly noticed the warm grip of Amy’s hand, or the wriggling starfish weight of George on her hip.

Because Ted had tried to tell her. That morning, on the green. But she’d been too distracted by her own worries, her own self-pity about Anthony and about the children being upset with her, that she hadn’t listened.

This was just the same as when Julia told her about the redundancy. She’d been so caught up in her own dramas that it hadn’t occurred to her that Julia’s life was anything less than rosy. She’d never bothered to ask.

Now, her best friend had needed her. The one person she could always count on, who’d been there to support her in every crisis – and there had been many – and to support her in every triumph. There had been few.

For the first time, Ted had needed her. And she’d been too caught up in herself and her own issues to notice.

As she marched along the snowy street, surrounded by children who trusted her implicitly, Jen came to a shocking realisation.

She was a terrible person.

Chapter Thirty-Six

‘I wouldn’t say terrible,’ Julia said, giving a little shrug.

Not hugely reassuring.

They were sitting in the kitchen, drinking coffee and eating mince pies bought from the café. Alexa was playing Christmas carols and the snow still blanketed everything outside the window. Jen chewed morosely, savouring the deliciously rich flavour of the fruit with a hint of brandy despite her misery.

‘You just get caught up in your own problems sometimes, I think,’ Julia continued, cheerfully slopping another spoonful of brandy butter onto her pie. ‘And maybe you’ve been so used to Ted being the one to support you that it never occurred to you that he might need you to look after him sometimes.’

Jen thought about how Ted had been there for her when her parents split, always knowing when to listen, when to let her cry, when to make her laugh. She hadn’t even noticed that he was struggling.

‘I just – he’s always so together. It’s hard to tell with him that he’s dealing with something bad, he doesn’t show it like I do.’

She could be in no doubt now, though. She’d tried to call him several times since she’d got back from the café, but he didn’t pick up. Her long, apologetic text had been met with a brief reply that thanked her, but said he needed a bit of space.

It stung. Ted had never needed distance from her, but she supposed she deserved it.

Julia looked sceptical. ‘Hmm, I think it’s been pretty obvious since he and Sarah broke up that he’s not been himself. I mean, he looks rough.’

Jen stared at her. ‘You knew?’

Julia shrugged. ‘Of course, it’s Babblebrook. Everyone’s worried about him.’

‘Well, why didn’t you tell me?’ Jen heard her own voice rise, full of outrage.

Julia stared at her. ‘I thought you knew. I thought you’d have checked in with him, I mean, he’s your best friend, isn’t he?’

This response did not make Jen feel any better about herself. She sighed. ‘Pass me that brandy butter.’