Page 176 of Suite 7

“What’s that?”

“How.” Her voice cracks on it. “How you could lie to my face. For six weeks. Every time I asked. Every time I was right there and you said nothing.”

“I don’t have a good answer,” I say.

“Try.”

I take a breath. “At the beginning I told myself it wasn’t a lie. It was an arrangement — Kane and I had agreed on that word. Something contained, something that might not go anywhere. I didn’t want to worry you over something that might resolve itself in two weeks.”

“But it didn’t resolve itself.”

“No.”

“So why didn’t you tell me then?”

I look at my hands. “Because by the time I knew it was real, I was already in it. And every day I didn’t tell you made the next day harder.” I look up. “I hated every moment of it. I need you to know that.”

She’s quiet. Not softening. Just listening.

“I’m not asking you to forgive the lying,” I say. “I’m just telling you it wasn’t easy. It was the worst part of all of it.”

She absorbs that. Then: “I don’t understand how it even happened. You and Kane have driven each other crazy for years. You fight every time you’re in the same room.”

“I know.”

“So how does that turn into this?”

I wrap my hands tighter around the cup. “Honestly? I didn’t know it was attraction. Not consciously. I thought he annoyed me. But every argument had this energy — this intensity. I’d go home after dinners where we’d disagreed and I’d be wound up for hours. Couldn’t sleep. Couldn’t stop replaying what he said.” Something close to a laugh escapes me. “I told myself it was because he was infuriating. I didn’t realize getting under my skin was the problem.”

“When did you realize?”

“When I met him at Eclipse,” I say.

“Eclipse?” She frowns. “What’s that?”

I set my cup down. Look at my hands for a moment, then back up at her.

“It’s a private club.” A breath. “A BDSM club.”

Silence.

Sloane stares at me. Her hands tighten around her cup.

“A BDSM club,” she says slowly.

“Yes.”

She looks down at her cup. Doesn’t say anything. I let her have it.

“You’re into that,” she says finally. Not a question.

“Yes.”

She sits back. Takes a breath.

“How long have you known?”

“The desires? Years.” My throat tightens. “But I only started actually exploring them around the time this started. That’s when I found Eclipse.”