Page 74 of Ashen Wings

“See you like what exactly? With fangs and claws? What the fuck are you, Jace Ashborne?” My voice rasps for a glass of water, but I swallow the nausea before I spill my damned stomach.

“How much do you know about Blightfangs?” His exhausted eyes scan mine for a heartbeat before falling back to the dagger gripped at his chest.

“Just that they rarely bond,” I reply.

“The bond between Blightfang and rider is a rarity because most humans can’t keep their magic at bay. Most riders who attempt it fall into madness.” A black curl falls out of place, and he tucks it away.

My lips thin as I take in Jace’s state. The fog of my hangover clears enough to notice the circles under his eyes and the pale, greyish complexion in his features. Fuck, Jace looks worse than I feel.

“So what? That was Tenebris’s magic that made you all murderous last night, and why your hands changed back in Storm?” I bite my lip. Every instance of battle we’d encountered thus far has ended in confusion. Realization snaps into place. He’s been lying, and claiming I’ve been mistaken when I knew the truth.

“Just as Tenebris can shift into his human form, his magic gives me the ability to shift, too, but not without risk. The more often I do, the more intense the cravings.”

“Cravings for what?” I’m not sure I truly want to know, but the image of Jace’s eyes, once glittering and garnet, pangs through me.

He takes a breath, like he’s fighting a losing battle. “Blood, Nova.”

My stomach plummets to the floor. “I-I don’t understand.”

“Tenebris and I ran into a lurker on our return from patrol. I’m only capable of fighting them off if I shift. You and Isra got home shortly before I did. I promise you, I expected everyone to be asleep and safe in their bedchambers, but then I smelled you. Your scent…your…” He trails off.

Astora help me, he means my arousal. I might actually die.

Humiliation, horror, maybe a combination of both singes my cheeks, leaving them flushed and ruby. The intoxicated fantasy I allowed to play out in my mind has my heart pumping.

Extinguish one fire at a time, Nova.

“I lost control before I could shift back. I’m sorry.”

A distant memory resurfaces. The lurker bite. The venom. Jace’s lips on my neck. Tenebris’s wary words of protest. Holy fucking hells.

“I’m going to be sick.” My thoughts race to the frantic pulse booming through me.

“It was never my intention to put you in danger the way I did, Nova. I’m sorry,” he rasps. I can’t begin to understand the words spilling from his lips right now. Not when I’m battling with the hot saliva coating my tongue. My lips draw in shallow breaths and my head pounds.

“Gods, Nova, you’re sweating. Let me help you, please.” Jace reaches for me, but his hands barely cross the threshold before my blade returns to his chest.

“Don’t come any closer, Jace Ashborne.” His jaw clenches, but he obeys. “Did you drink my blood…feed…whatever the fuck you call it back at the lurker den?”

His body goes rigid. “Nova, you were dying…”

“You fought off those lurkers so you had to have shifted. You stopped their venom before it killed me. Answer me plainly, Jace Ashborne. Did you draw blood from me?”

“Yes. I had no choice.” The world stops spinning.

“You should've let me die,” I whisper, all too aware of the tension settling between us.

“Nova, please…”

“You made me feel crazy, like I’d imagined it all.” Betrayal sinks its teeth into me.

“I couldn’t tell you the truth…” His eyes search mine.

“I owned my truths, told you my secrets, and all I received in return…were lies. You lied to me, Jace.”

“Listen to me, starling, it’s better you didn’t know. For your own safety, I—” Every stone of trust I’d offered him crumbles, leaving the wall we’ve built together collapsing around us.

Thaye was right, I can’t trust him. Yaris…Yaris was right, and now his death is a permanent notch in my heart. How could I be so blind? So godsdamned stupid? I’m better than this, sharper than this. I walked right into his circle, nibbled on the crumbs he left like a fucking mouse, and now I’m trapped.