Page 88 of Ashen Wings

Jace’s midnight eyes flare as they meet mine. “You’re most certainly not nobody, starling.”

The blood rushes straight to my face, and suddenly I find myself very interested in a healed cut on my hand. Silence washes in like a fog between us, heavy and exhaustive.

“Alright, I need to go to bed. It’s way too late for this sentimental shit.” Roe untucks her crossed legs. The click of her heels pounds on my temples as she takes her leave.

“We’ll figure this out. Try not to worry about it all tonight.” Isra pats a hand on my shoulder and offers a reassuring smile. “At least you’re not stuck with those soulless riders for eternity.”

“Very comforting, Isra, thank you.”

Jace leans against the bookshelf, battling to keep indifferent. His fingers grip the wood so tightly, I swear he might crack it.

Only when Isra has disappeared through the corridor do I leave my own cushioned warmth.

“Jace?” My tongue dances over my teeth, but I can’t help myself. Whether it’s the constant need to clear the kindled air between us or my irritating inability to keep my fucking mouth shut, I offer the catalyst and open the door for this confrontation.

“Yes, starling?”

My boots beg to close the distance between us, ignoring the alarm bells ringing through my head.

He’s three steps away, standing rigid and staring right at me. Those eyes look through mine, burning into my very core. With each pump of my heart, the impasse between us fractures. I could run to him, spill myself on the floor and fall into his gravity if I so choose. It was I who crushed the blossom of whatever seeded between us back in Storm, right? Now only I can fix it.

Just three steps. That’s all there is between us.

But his lies, his concealed truths…how can I trust anything? I took the leap, exposing my every vulnerability, and in return I’ve gotten only steel-cut half-truths and distorted secrets.

“Thank you for coming back for me.” I force my storming thoughts silent.

“It was my honor.” His tone softens. “I’m not a threat to you, Nova. Not an intentional one at least.”

“I know. You’re not a monster. It was cruel of me to say that,” I say, swallowing the ache of guilt in my chest.

“You were rightfully angry.”

The fire crackles between us like it attempts to fill the quiet.

“I should get some sleep.” I gesture toward the hallway. The silence between us hangs with things left unspoken, but I can’t force them free. Not anymore than I can oblige my boots’ pleas and take the three steps. Jace follows my line of sight to the doorway, conflict etched at the creases of his eyes.

“Go rest,” he says before flipping a tome open. “You lost a lot of blood tonight.”

His thumb drags down the page’s edge, delicate and slow. In the gilded firelight, it’s hard to imagine what lurks under those fingers, waiting for a taste of blood.

“Did you need something else?” He glances up at me again.

Fuck, I’m staring. Frozen and entranced by the way he flicks his index finger over the page’s dog-eared corner.

“What? Uh, no…I…” My cheeks blaze, and it’s not the wine that’s sparked the flames.

Jace’s lip curls, like he’s celebrating a silent victory. “Goodnight, starling.”

40

With our offer sent to Sea, all we can do is wait. The days of long winded silence are mind-numbing, the nights even worse. Between official business in the city and extra patrols into lurker territory, Jace has made himself scarce. I haven’t seen him since our conversation after the blood moon, and maybe that’s for the best. The dust needs time to settle, and my damned body needs to calm the fuck down before I find myself alone with him again.

This push and pull has me feeling like a teenager—angsty, immature, and reckless. Have I forgotten I’m a woman grown and there’s a bloodthirsty nightmare hidden under his skin? The thrill of those talons and fangs coils like a serpent in my belly, though.

No, wrong reaction.

I should run screaming for the hills, but the way he held me in the tomb, the way he whispered against my neck and claimed me as his. My mind grips that memory tight. I’ve replayed it over and over again. He’s the last face I see before drifting to sleep, and it’s not fear that keeps me in this chokehold…no matter how much I tell myself it is.