Page 105 of Two for Charging

Luca winced. He knew he’d been lying to himself about his own emotional attachment to the team, but he hadn’t considered how his behavior would read to others. He couldn’t fault Howie for assuming Luca’s dislike was authentic. “I don’t like anyone. It is a character flaw I am working on.”

That drew a half smile from Howie, though it vanished as soon as he caught Luca smiling back. “What do you want?”

“I want you to stop ignoring everyone. It’s bad for the team.”

“Yeah, well, it’s good for me.”

“No, it isn’t. You’re miserable, and your hockey has been shit.”

Howie scoffed. “Thanks for going easy on me. Jesus.”

Being more open didn’t have to mean being nice, did it? Luca took in the dark circles under Howie’s eyes, the toothpaste smear by his lips no one had informed him of. “You know Chris didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”

Looking out the window, Howie said, “Do you understand how humiliating it was? I told him all this shit about me, and he acted as if he was on my side or whatever, and then I find out half the team is queer, and they never bothered to tell me. And Breezy knew all about it.”

“He felt he could not share your secrets or share theirs. He didn’t want to out anyone. And he yelled at them all after you left.”

“He did not.”

Luca raised an eyebrow.

Howie didn’t respond, but he didn’t put his earbuds in again for the last ten minutes of the bus ride. It was a start.

More heartening still, Mooney gave Luca a half nod as they got off the bus, having witnessed some part of their exchange.

Luca had hoped to sit with Chris on the plane and perhaps catch a nap on his shoulder. (People did it all the time; it wouldn’t be suspicious.) But Jax herded them into a four-way seat with Tom before Luca could put his plan into action. Chris, pretending not to have noticed anything amiss, pulled out a book.

“Seriously?” Jax asked, unimpressed by the thick tome. “No way you’re actually reading that.”

Chris studied the back cover of Anna Karenina. “My brother recommended it. Sort of. Thought I would give it a try.”

“Well, not today. We’re going to talk,” Jax said as soon as the plane’s engine roared loud enough that their conversation wouldn’t be audible to everyone on board.

“Okay,” Chris said.

Jax and Tom traded a look.

“We owe you an apology,” Tom said.

“No, I shouldn’t have lost my temper.”

Luca elbowed him.

“Ah! Why are your elbows so pointy?”

“To make up for how short I am,” Luca told him. “You were well within your rights to be upset. It was an upsetting situation.”

“Okay, but I shouldn’t have pressured Tom and Jax to do anything they weren’t ready for just to make things less awkward for me.”

Jax scrunched up his nose. “Very sweet of you, but if we weren’t ready, then we shouldn’t have had everyone over and been so obvious in front of them. We made a decision not to care about the consequences, and then the whole thing with Dmitriyev and Howie kind of…”

“Showed us some consequences we hadn’t considered,” Tom finished when Jax trailed off.

“But we still want you to take the A.”

Chris sighed.

Tom leaned forward, his elbows on the plastic table. “We will tell the team. The whole team, Russians included. You’re right. We put you in an untenable situation if we want you to keep filling your role as the guy who keeps everyone together. And we do.”