Page 82 of Two for Charging

Wearing a suit had never been so comfortable. The waistband on the pants fit just right, and there was no weird bulge around his dick; the shirt, a bright fuchsia, didn’t billow out anywhere leaving a gap in the buttons, and the jacket wasn’t too tight across his shoulders or too short at his wrists.

He’d been watching YouTube videos in preparation for this moment ever since Luca had taken him to see Leonora. So, he knew how to tie the skinny black tie so that the even skinnier part stayed hidden, and he knew to close only one button on the jacket. Although, Chris thought it was kind of stupid to bother putting a second button on the jacket in the first place if you weren’t supposed to use it.

Examining himself in the mirror on his closet, he couldn’t deny he looked…good.

It didn’t make his face any different than it always had been, but in well-fitting clothes, Chris looked big and strong, and his features matched his body. He wasn’t a different guy or anything, but maybe he had graduated from being a potato to being a French fry.

“What do you think?” he asked Luca as he stepped out of his bedroom.

“I,” Luca said and then froze.

This gave Chris a moment to take Luca in. He’d always loved the way Luca wore his suits, as if he were born to wander around in hand-tailored clothing, elegant and perfect. He seldom bothered with ties, leaving his shirts unbuttoned at the collar. Before this week, Chris had noticed how handsome Luca was but hadn’t thought much about why he cared.

Maybe he should have investigated how having a crush felt much earlier.

Now, looking at him, all Chris could think about was taking the suit off Luca piece by piece and biting every bit of skin he revealed. He couldn’t believe Luca had let him touch him, let alone been so into it. Luca was perfect. He was grumpy and snarky and hotter than the sun, and Chris wanted to make him come until he shook in Chris’s arms and then let Luca bully him into watching soccer.

“You look wonderful,” Luca said.

Oh. Right. Chris had asked for his opinion.

Hearing it made him blush. “Thank you. So do you. I mean, you always do, but gray’s a great color on you.”

The light shade of Luca’s suit brought out the richness of his skin tone. His crisp, white shirt contrasted the dark chest hair peeking out of the open top button, and he’d styled his hair to fall over his forehead in a great swooping wave.

Chris wanted him.

Having a word to put to the feeling was revelatory.

“So shall we go?”

“Oh. Right.” They had a hockey game to go to. Chris couldn’t spend all evening staring at Luca, no matter how much he wanted to.

When they got out of the car in the Cyberian arena garage, they found Kayleigh’s team lying in wait, taking pictures of the players as they arrived in their suits.

She wolf-whistled when she saw them. “Looking good, boys!”

Chris draped his arm over Luca’s shoulder and pulled him close for the photo. Kayleigh would get her roommate content, but it wouldn’t be straight.

He wasn’t straight.

Finally, gloriously, the unease Chris felt every time someone mentioned his straightness vanished. He’d known something felt wrong about it, but he hadn’t been able to articulate it. What would he have said? Sorry, I know I’ve only ever been with women, but I don’t think I’m straight because I suck at it? No one wanted a man who appeared straight, for all intents and purposes, whining about being left out of the special club. And Chris had always been too scared of being taken for an idiot—or worse, a bigot—to ever say anything.

Before today, no one had told him there were words for what he was. A few people had made sure he knew he didn’t have to want sex and relationships the way other people did. And he’d have to thank Phil and Michelle for getting him to the point of understanding that being different didn’t mean he’d done something wrong. Without them, he might never have been ready to hear that somewhere in the maze of identity, there existed a word that actually described him. Chris wasn’t 100 percent sure which word was the right one for him yet. He had to finish reading all the pamphlets Mara had given him, but knowing it existed put a bounce in his step.

“You are in a good mood,” Luca observed as Kayleigh shot her photo. His lips were so close to Chris’s ear that Chris could feel the heat of his breath. He shivered.

“Looking forward to later,” Chris said. “I wanted to talk to you about…coaching.”

Luca tensed under his arm.

Was tensing up good? Did Luca want more? Or was there a reason he hadn’t mentioned it in the last week? Chris’s palms grew damp with sweat. He’d never felt this way about sex before. He’d been anxious or full of dread, but never hopeful and excited and full of nerves all at once. He pulled his arm away from Luca. What if Luca noticed him sweating and didn’t want to have sex again?

Did people walk around feeling this much all the time?

Chris remembered a guy in Juniors who had told him, in the safety of their shared hotel room, that he was crushing on three girls at once. How had he not exploded?

“Looking sharp, Breezy!” Phil came up behind them, propelling Luca and Chris from Kayleigh’s photo stand toward the locker rooms.