Page 44 of Winterveil

The words I’m sorry felt insufficient. So instead Giselle said, “You’re very brave.”

Nadiya’s mouth thinned. “I don’t think so.”

“Why not?”

“Being dealt a bad hand doesn’t make people brave. It just makes them unlucky.”

“I’m not talking about what you’ve been through,” said Giselle. “I’m talking about what you’ve done. Here. Now.”

“And what have I done?”

Saved me, she thought. From Sutton in the jail. From the whispers and gossip of the other Valeran students. Even today, Nadiya had come for her. Endured her own nightmares for Giselle’s sake. And now she had risked plunging back into those same nightmares, to meet Giselle here—in the surreal landscape of her dreams.

But the words got caught in her throat. Because Giselle wasn’t brave. She followed orders. She let Sutton slip the promise ring on her finger, she swallowed the laxatives her mother gave her before the pageants, she let her grandmother throw her out into the cold. And she hadn’t hesitated when Professor Blanchard had told her to violate Nadiya’s mind.

“You’ve been my friend,” Giselle replied at last. And that was perhaps the most insufficient thing she could have said.

Nadiya folded her arms across her chest. “That’s a pretty low bar to be considered brave.”

“You care about me.” Giselle’s heart thumped as she spoke. “At least, I think you do.”

“You aren’t sure?”

“I’m never sure with you. Maybe you’re just pretending.”

It felt like standing on the edge of a cliff, height pulsing in the soles of her feet. Even kissing Bonnie hadn’t seemed so dangerous. And Nadiya was still an arm’s length away.

“If I am pretending,” Nadiya said slowly, “it’s a very easy thing to do.”

Giselle’s pulse raced. Maybe none of this was real. Maybe it was nothing more than her own dream, her own fantasy. And if it was, why shouldn’t she step closer? Why shouldn’t she reach out, and—

But if it was real, in some way, if Nadiya was in fact dreaming the same dream, or visiting Giselle in hers, then she couldn’t. She would never push herself on Nadiya again.

And now the dream was starting to fade at its edges. The sunlight dimmed. Giselle felt an ache in the pit of her stomach, and hurriedly she said, “Maybe you can show me your dream tomorrow.”

Nadiya’s face was unreadable. “You don’t want to see what’s in my head.”

“Try me,” Giselle said, and then it was all gone. Darkness closed in. She drifted back into the oblivious depths of slumber.

Giselle woke with a start, breathing hard. She shot up in bed and fumbled for the lamp’s pull string. The light clicked on and her room at Valeran—once strange, but now familiar—was illuminated. The nodes on her temples had gone cold, and she removed them with shaking fingers.

Once she managed to calm her breath, Giselle reached for her tablet. She opened the messaging app and selected Nadiya’s name.

Did you see it? she typed out.

Nadiya’s icon pulsed, indicating that she was online. Giselle waited, her heart in her throat.

Yeah, Nadiya wrote back. I saw it, too.

Sixteen

Spring 2037

Rural Virginia

Late April brought a sudden warmth to the mountains, and the heat and clear skies drew every student at Valeran outside. They sat on the lawn in small groups, stretching their legs and tipping back their heads, picking at the food they’d smuggled out of the dining hall. The wind rustled the elm trees and carried their laughter through the air.

Julian sat alone, jacket spread out beneath him, shirtsleeves rolled up to his elbows and the face of his watch glinting in the sun. He looked more at ease than he felt. In less than a month he had won his first simulation, climbed to second place in the rankings, and established a positive reputation for himself at Valeran. When he caught the eyes of the other students in the halls, they gave him deferential nods and appreciative smiles.