Page 73 of A Tale of Mirth & Magic

“Maybe I should have. But you didn’t know me then, not really. You were a woman traveling alone, and I was a huge man who suddenly wanted to drop my plans and follow you into the woods for days… wouldn’t that have seemed creepy?”

Elikki crossed her arms, eyes twinkling. “Ahh. Yeah. I guess so.”

I rushed to explain, trying to stay calm. “I kept telling myself I would leave soon. That I should turn back and let you continue on alone. But then Maerryl attacked you—still a bit confused about why she’s here and helping us now, to be honest—and you were weak from the fight. One thing just kept leading to another. And then when you finally told me that you wanted me to stay—there was no way I could have left your side after that. Not while you wanted me.”

“Well,” Elikki said, cocking an eyebrow, “I can’t honestly say that’s even in the top five oddest things a person’s done to try and get into my skirts over the years.”

“Wait, you aren’t weirded out by that at all?” Maerryl said.

El shrugged. “Not really. I’d probably have done the same thing. It’s actually kind of romantic. I hadn’t wanted to part yet back then either.” She reached up and kissed me again, quick and sweet.

My chest was full of air. She didn’t hate me for lying. The relief was so intense that I was a bit lightheaded, dizzy with her kiss and her understanding.

“Two weirdos made for each other,” I heard Telen mutter to herself, mystified.

Suddenly, El’s pointed ears twitched, and she looked west down the road, in the opposite direction we had traveled from. “I hear hoofbeats. Someone’s coming,” she said. “Or a few someones, by the sound of it. We should try to move the carriage over a bit.”

“Well, what’re we going to do with this lump?” Maerryl stood and nudged Felsith with her toe. “Had to drug him a teensy bit so he’d calm down. We could knock him out more, dump him in the carriage, and let him sleep it off while we get away? He can drive himself home once he comes to.”

Telen came closer, inspecting his prone body with a frown. “That won’t do. He’s seen all of us anyway, and he knows me. I may have, uh, bribed him not to press charges against Bar or put a bounty on him…”

“I can’t believe you gave that asshole your hard-earned coin. I’ll pay you back, sis,” I said.

“I know, I know. But we weren’t sure what was happening! It seemed like you were in danger. And we have the money. It’s my job to protect you, so just shut it.” Stubbornly, she threw a hand up in my face and continued, “I’ll take Felsith back. I’m passing through anyway, on my way home. I’ll explain the situation to the lord and act as witness to this worm’s crimes. The Draos family is well-respected—they should listen to me. And, if not, I’ll send for our mas to back me up.”

“But you weren’t here for the attack,” Maerryl pointed out. She began to haul Felsith by his bound feet to the carriage door. Telen came over to help, covering up the spots in the road where his foot had bled with a few kicks of dirt.

“Those nitwits in Povon don’t know that. And if Felsith tries to dispute it, I’ll just say I was hiding, looking for a moment to intervene on his deranged attack,” Telen said with a flinty smile. Maerryl smiled tentatively back at her, which was a strange but cute sight.

I could hear the approaching horses now. Three mounted figures came around the bend. Spotting us, they shot down the road and halted suddenly. One, a woman in a guard’s leathers, swung down and walked closer, inspecting Felsith as he drooled into the dirt.

“We got ’im, sir!” she called. “Seems fine, just a bit out of it. Did you knock ’im out?” she asked, looking around our group.

“In self-defense, yes,” Telen said stiffly, stepping forward with her chin raised an inch. “This man attacked us with violent intent. He also kidnapped our companion, drugged her, and attempted to maim and rob her. We were forced to make a citizen’s arrest, on behalf of the High Queen of Kurriel, and we are transporting him to his town’s authorities now. Who, may I ask, are you?”

From atop his horse, a tired-looking middle-aged man sighed and said, “Oh, Felly, what have you done now?”

El and I blinked at each other. Felly? she mouthed, nearly making me burst out laughing in the awkward silence.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, the man said, “I apologize. It’s been a long and—erm, stressful—journey. I should introduce myself. I’m Lord Renalo of Povon, and this”—he gestured to Felsith—“is my younger brother. I expect we arrived a bit too late to the party, so to speak. It took us some time to track him down, the wily little fellow.”

“You can say that again,” Elikki grumbled, rubbing her still-sore wrists. I glared at the pompous man—still shorter than me, even on horseback—and began brushing soothing circles on El’s back with my palm.

She leaned into my touch a bit, letting me hold some of her weight against my body. I fumed internally at Felsith, and these newcomers, but didn’t let my anger seep into my touch. She needed rest—a warm bath, a pot of tea, and a soft bed to sleep off the pain and awfulness of this morning.

The lord let out another, deeper sigh. “You must be Mistress Elikki, the jeweler. My brother has been on quite the tear about you lately. I apologize for his actions here.” He inclined his head to her. “That being said, you did severely injure him as well, when you were visiting my town.”

“Allegedly,” she said flatly. “And if you had investigated the matter before putting a call out for my arrest—and allowing him to put a bounty on my head—you would have discovered that he laid his hands on me first.”

“I actually didn’t call for your arrest. Or encourage the bounty. I called for you to be brought in for questioning, as is proper procedure under Kurrielan law. But you and your—uh, companion’s—actions complicated things somewhat. I’ll admit, however, that the situation got rapidly out of hand on my watch.” The lord sighed yet again and slumped in his saddle.

“You didn’t? Oh, well… right. You still could have handled things better,” she said, looking like she was struggling to maintain her wrath in the face of this absolute soggy roll of a man.

He nodded. “Yes. I know what my brother is like, and I should have intervened sooner. Unfortunately for all of us, he’s surprised even me with his atrocious behavior this time. You know he stole my carriage and horses here too? Do you have anything to say for yourself, Felly?” he called down.

Maerryl prodded Felsith with her boot, and his eyes slit open. “I’m just a baby worm… don’t know whosits from whatsits… just sleep in my worm hommmme…” he moaned woozily before zonking out again.

“Right you are, Felly.” Another heavy sigh, and Lord Renalo motioned to his guards. “Please put him in the carriage and secure the door. One of you drive that back and we’ll put your horse on a lead.” The two guards came forward to collect Felsith and tossed him on the floor of the carriage with barely concealed looks of disgust.