Page 27 of A Spell of Heart & Havoc

I wonder what Maerryl is doing right now.

My face flushed. Now where had that thought come from??

Even as I tried to push it down, an image of her just a couple rooms away rose in my mind. Had she also flung all her clothes off when she got back to her room, like me? Doubtful. I couldn’t imagine those tightly laced leathers would be easy to take off quickly. It would have to be done slowly, one by one, her work-worn, nimble fingers untying them a single fastening at a time.

How would she get to the laces on those arm guards? Her teeth perhaps. I pictured her suddenly, undoing her clothes piece by glorious piece, bits of leather falling to the ground as I watched. She stared straight at me in that defiant way of hers, daring me to stop her.

It would go quite a bit quicker with two, I imagined. In my mind, I stepped closer. The heat from the fire turned into the heat of her body, and I wrapped my hands around her shoulder, loosening one buckle that held the top of her leather armor in place. A patch of skin was exposed; I ducked down to kiss, then lick it softly. Just once.

Maerryl’s arms came up around me, holding me tight, and I felt her low laugh—half mocking, half sensuous—in my mind’s ear. Unlike in reality, I didn’t want to snap back at that tone, put her in her place. I burrowed closer. She murmured praise in my ear, one hand moving down, down—

The door handle rattled, and I sat bolt upright, face burning. Petra bustled back in, carefully balancing a large tray as she prattled on about tonight’s dinner plans, one of her favorite topics.

I sat back, trying to look normal and surely failing. Oh goddess, my nipples were poking straight through the thin silk of my robe. I crossed my arms over my ample bosom and smiled overbright at Petra.

I did not just have a sex daydream about Maerryl. I did NOT just have a sex daydream about Maerryl. If I repeated it enough, perhaps time would rewind and erase what had just happened.

Petra, bless her, seemed to think I was over-exhausted and just sitting too near the fire. She moved me to the chaise and plied me with tea, one of my favorite delicate white blends, while I caught her up on the events of the day. She gasped and exclaimed in all the right places. By the end of my story, with perhaps just a few minor embellishments, her vanilla scone lay forgotten on her plate and her mouth gaped.

“Well, I—my, Dove, you really have been on an adventure today. And here I thought it was just a quick rendezvous with some admirer,” she said. “So… there was no mystery lover?”

Shit. I’d forgotten about that little lie.

“Not exactly,” I said, resting one hand over hers. “I didn’t want you to worry.”

She nodded, but her brow furrowed. “Are you sure it’s safe though? Those villagers sounded awfully angry. Maybe the priory could bring the orphans here for your lessons?”

The thought of those children having to encounter my parents, who’d refused to help when their lives were destroyed, made my stomach roil.

“No. I’ll go to them. Besides, Maerryl will be with me.” Until I managed to get rid of her, that is. “Isn’t that the whole reason my parents hired her?”

She looked skeptical, but I said, “And not a word of this to either of them, understood? There’s no need for them to know anything about it. It’s my business.”

Petra nodded again, reluctantly. She was a good friend. As spacey as she could be sometimes, I knew she wouldn’t betray my trust.

And she probably wouldn’t risk endangering her position here, a small, sad part of my mind whispered.

I pulled my hand back from hers gently and stood, brushing scone crumbs off my lap. “Now, let’s get dressed for dinner. The smell of that pheasant has been driving me mad. Say again what Choia has cooked up for us this evening?”

Happily distracted once again, Petra hopped up and moved to the wardrobe as she chattered about glazed carrots and whipped mascarpone. I tried to pay attention. Letting her choose my gown and hairstyle, we spent a pleasant hour together, before she bopped out to go fetch something. “Back in just a moment!” she chirped.

Things felt almost like normal, like every other evening for the past few months. Except there was a nagging sense of everything being different after today. What I’d heard in the village, and from the prioress—how could something like that have happened so nearby and I knew nothing about it? Was I truly that cut off from my surroundings, from my neighbors? What else happens around me that I’m oblivious to?

Of course, I had been told about the raiding. As I’d said to Maerryl, Choia had mentioned the tragedy when it happened. I just didn’t really hear her… or I didn’t care at the time. Absorbed with my own problems, such as they were. It took an elderly man yelling in my face for me to truly listen. That, and Maerryl’s judgmental presence at my side.

Would I have gone to the priory if I’d been alone at the time, no one else to see and hold me accountable? Would I even have gone out riding in search of something this morning, if she hadn’t goaded me into feeling useless? My stomach churned.

I’d shut myself up in this manor for far too long. From now on, that was going to change.

14

MAERRYL

For fuck’s sake, did she always take this long to get ready?

Petra had found me outside as planned, and brought me up to Dove’s room, chattering most of the way about various household matters as we made our long way through the manor and upstairs. Mainly Dove this and Dove that. “Oh you know how much she adores plums.” “Did she seem very tired to you after her ride? I think she’s very tired.” “I finally finished the embroidery on her new stockings today!”

And on and on and on. I liked the woman well enough, but goddess, I’d never met someone so devoted to their employer. Such loyalty was never going to serve her in life.