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That she didn’t fight him carrying her through the house and outside to the front porch was telling. Toni wasn’t a weak woman. She’d handled her parents’ unexpected death without blinking an eye. She took over the diner and house, settled well into a new area, and managed a bunch of bikers without a second thought. To see her so broken fucked with his head and sealed Shark’s fate. His raping buddies’ as well.
When he sank down to a rocking chair with her on his lap, she tried to pull away, but he held her close and rubbed a hand up and down her back. “Shh, just relax, baby.” All she wore was his T-shirt from the night before and he had nothing on but his jeans. The moment was quiet, intimate, peaceful, and after a few minutes she relaxed into him. It would have been a perfect way to spend the morning if they didn’t have a tough conversation looming over them like a dark storm cloud.
They sat in silence for a while, Zach holding her and gliding the chair back and forth with his foot.
“Can you tell me?” he asked after a while. The need to know more clawed at him, overshadowing the brief peace they’d found.
Toni nodded against his chest. “You know who my parents were. Very conservative, closed-minded, prejudiced against everyone who wasn’t exactly like them. Did you know they were terrified of your father?”
Zach huffed out a laugh. “I knew. They called the cops on him at least three or four times a year for stupid shit.”
Toni traced her finger over the Handlers’ emblem, scarred onto his forearm. “Yeah, they were convinced he was going to break in and rob us blind one night.” She scoffed. “They were paranoid like that about the entire MC or anyone who looked like what my mom called a hoodlum. Anyway, their views led them to keeping me on a very tight leash. Once I hit middle school, I wasn’t allowed to go to birthday parties, to the mall with friends, no after-school activities, definitely no dating. Basically, I wasn’t allowed any normal teenage activities. Friends weren’t even permitted at the house, and I could never go to their houses, either.”
“Must have been tough.” As she spoke, Zach snaked his hand under her T-shirt and stroked her soft hip. It seemed to have the desired effect as she stayed pliant and relaxed against him.
“Did this hurt?” She drew a circle around his scar with her index finger.
“Like a sonofabitch, babe,” he said, giving her hip a gentle squeeze.
That got a small chuckle out of her. “Once I hit high school, I rebelled. Hard core. Sneaking out, smoking, drinking, having sex. I refused to have anything to do with the diner and I specifically chose a rough crowd that my parents despised. Looking back on it now, I see how stupid and disrespectful I was, but I was so angry at them all the time. And I was young and unequipped to make wise decisions.”
“How did they respond?”
“Well, now, through the eyes of an adult I can see I was craving their attention, understanding, and acceptance. Basically, I just wanted them to love me, even if it meant yelling and punishments. At least I would have known they cared. I got none of that. They basically washed their hands of me. Stopped trying to discipline or parent me because they felt I was a lost cause.”
“Shit.”
“Yeah. When I was sixteen, pretty close to seventeen, I went to a Gray Dragon’s party with some girl who’d dropped out of high school. That’s where I met Eddie.”
“Shark?”
Toni nodded and shifted, sitting straight and turning until she straddled him. “I want to be able to look at you while I finish this.”
He tilted his head and nodded. “Okay.” He’d never turn down a chance to have her draped over his body.
Her gaze was searching, like she was anticipating some specific reaction from him. Acceptance? Or maybe she expected him to react like her parents did and reject her. That would never happen. No none deserved to be judged by the mistakes of their youth. Hell, Zach had done his share of things he wasn’t proud of and would rather forget. “Whatever it is you have to tell me, baby, just spit it out. It’s not going to change the way I see you.”
She gave him a sad smile and placed her hands on his chest. “You say that now, but you saw the video.” A small shudder ran through her. “That wasn’t even the worst of it.”
Fuck, it was going to be near impossible to keep from reacting negatively, but he had no fucking choice. “Why don’t you tell me the rest, sweetheart?” Keeping the anger hidden no matter what she told him would be imperative. She had to learn she could trust him with her secrets. With whatever shamed her.
