Page 57 of The Duke’s Bloody Bargain

Alex brushed my hand with his, a light touch that carried the weight of his sorrow. “I’m sorry. For everything.”

20

RISE AGAIN

Alex

Raven Hall was lost, engulfed by the mysterious fog and bloody giant snakes that were growing teeth, spikes, and hard muscles. Carabosse was who-knew-where, and my fears had returned. I’d made things worse for no reason. On top of that, I was worried about the witch. What the hell happened to her? Was she alive? Had I killed her? I had no idea if my bite had been dangerous to her. What if she’d died? I didn’t want to have killed someone else, as much as Cara and I weren’t friends. But she was part of the Dark Court, hence my responsibility. Hell, the whole bloody thing was my responsibility.

Irene, Darius, and I had found accommodation in a small townhouse in London, one of the properties attached to my title, for what it was worth.

It’d taken a few hours to relocate all the servants and make sure they were safe in Crowsbury. Not even my butler had chosen to follow me, which I understood. The man was terrified of me. At least the fog hadn’t harmed anyone yet.

And I was a frightened little man again, incapable of holding Irene.

After I washed with lukewarm water, because the lavatory wasn’t provided with a modern water boiler, and changed into clean clothes, I sat next to the fire, wondering where I should start to repair the damage I’d done before Esmeralda jumped at my throat.

The bedroom was claustrophobic compared to the one at the mansion. There was barely enough space for a single bed, a wardrobe, and a washstand. But the scent of beeswax and wood polish was a nice change from that of blood on my clothes.

My powers had diminished and returned to normal, and the sunlight didn’t weaken me more than usual. I supposed I should be grateful for that.

I glanced at the mirror; it was so small that only my face fit in it. My reflection was back, not as neat or well-defined as I would like, but it was there. Another thing to be grateful for.

The sense of impotence was back as well. Now more than ever.

Cara had tricked me. She’d waited for her first spell to consume me before blackmailing me. She might not have known the price required by the spell, but she’d been sure I would have been devastated by it. She’d known I would have struck a second bargain with her, when I was desperate. Because the first time, I would never have agreed to change her if she had asked.

But I didn’t blame her. It was all my fault. I shouldn’t have asked her for anything. I should have been patient. Darius had been right.

Gathering the courage to leave my bedroom to see Irene and talk to her required a few minutes. I hadn’t seen Darius and Irene since we’d arrived here. We’d headed in different directions to clean up and rest.

The floorboards in the corridor creaked under my weight, and the sound shot a tingle to my skin as if an army of ants were crawling up my legs. I found Irene in her bedroom, brushing her hair in front of the warm hearth. I’d given her the bigger room in the house. It wasn’t much, but it was the least I could do.

“May I?” I remained on the threshold.

She gave a curt nod but stiffened when I entered. Even the bond tightened.

“Where’s Darius?” I wanted to talk to her, but procrastinating seemed better.

“In the dining room, having his third lunch or first dinner. He’s quite shaken. I believe what shocked him the most was the fact he didn’t know what to do.”

I chuckled nervously. “Yes, Darius values his knowledge more than his silk pillows, and he can’t read his magic book, which frightens him.”

She tilted her head, and the light from the flames danced in her golden hair.

I scrubbed the back of my neck. “I apologise for having frightened you. I wasn’t myself.”

She nodded. “No, you weren’t.”

What else should I say? I’m sorry? Please don’t leave me? I’m desperate without you?

“You’re right to be angry or disgusted. I’m angry and disgusted with myself too.”

“I am angry, but not because of what happened in your bedroom when you commanded me.” She folded her hands in her lap. “Well, it’s that in part, but mostly I don’t understand how you could make a deal with Cara without discussing it with me. Something so important, and you didn’t come to me. Sharing everything is the whole point of being together, of building a life together. You excluded me from such an important decision. That hurt me more than your behaviour.”

Hell. “I wanted to be the man you need.”

“You already are.” She frowned. “But I’m not going to lie and say that I’m not disappointed.”