Page 111 of Crown of the Courtesan

Sitting on the cold bench, I try to calm my doubtful mind, remembering why I’m here—to practice the magic that I’ve been denied access to. I slowly reach inward, seeking that ember of power buried within.

At first, nothing happens.

I shut my eyes tight as my frustration builds. Something prickles. Heat flows through my veins, stacking like stoked coals. I focus it into my palms—and a tiny flame erupts in my cupped hands!

The fire wavers but holds its shape.

I’m impressed by what I’m capable of when an angry man isn’t telling me what I’m forbidden to do, when I’m free to be myself, powers and all.

Carefully, I experiment with making it wax and wane. The fire’s flickering light reflects on the pond, dancing across the calm surface. I manage a few moments of control before it gutters out, leaving only tendrils of smoke behind.

It isn’t much, but it’s mine.

Conjuring fire feels like a victory, so I sit under the clouds and stars, smiling softly.

Flushed with success, I try summoning the flame yet again. I close my eyes, reaching deep within that simmering well of power. Heat surges down my arm, beginning to manifest in my palm.

Hushed voices sound in the distance before I’m able to fully form it. I hastily snuff out the budding ember as two figures emerge from the shadows—Alisse and Robert, hand-in-hand, kissing and groping each other as they stumble down the footpath. They freeze when they see me.

Alisse’s eyes narrow and her lips purse. “Oh, apologies,” she says, her tone dripping with sarcasm. “We didn’t mean to disturb, Your Grace.”

I rise swiftly, grabbing my candle. “No matter. I’m heading in.” I make to pass, but Alisse blocks my way.

“Strange time to be skulking around,” she comments. “Trying to forget how your Keeper discarded you for a real princess?”

Robert shifts on his feet, clearly uncomfortable. “Come on, Alisse, let me escort you back. Another storm is forming, and I don’t want to get caught in the rain,” he insists, tugging on the lace shawl looped around Alisse’s arms.

“What? Have nothing to say? No wonder they replaced you so easily.” With a dramatic sigh, she flounces away, casting a scornful glance backward. I overhear her whispering to Robert, “You would understand if you knew the horrible things Vennisa told me about what she did…”

So much for thinking I could gain her respect.

I rest against the railing, peering around the gazebo’s edge to watch them leave. Turning the corner, Alisse collides with Rett’s broad chest, making him yelp in surprise. She curses and snaps at him before stomping off with an apologetic Robert. Rett scratches his head, wearing a dazed frown as he watches the retreating pair. He pauses, staring at the now-empty garden.

I hold my breath, praying the shadows hide me, but he sees me immediately, his face lighting up with a broad smile.

Rett’s approaching footsteps crunch on the gravel path, loud and purposeful, and his bulky body blocks the moonlight, darkness playing across his surprised features. “I didn’t expect to find you here.” He clucks his tongue. “Sneaking around is a dangerous pastime for a queen in hiding, don’t you think?”

My cheeks burn, but I lift my chin ever so slightly. “I’m able to look after myself just fine.”

Rett leans in, voice dropping low. “You wouldn’t need to if you finally agreed to marry me.”

The back of my neck bristles. “I don’t need a husband.”

He sighs, running a hand through his hair. “You’re being stubborn, Tabitha. The realms grow more dangerous by the day. A queen needs allies.”

“Allies, perhaps,” I say, folding my arms across my chest.

With an edge of impatience, he argues, “We needn’t make a big deal about not being in love.”

I study his face, frustrated that he refuses to leave it alone. “My freedom isn’t to be bartered for power or protection. I’ve already done that my whole life.” My voice cracks. “I simply won’t do it. I don’t have it in me anymore.”

Rett’s orange eyes flash. He reaches for my hand, but I pull away. “Can’t you see I’m trying to help you?” he insists. “You wouldn’t have to worry anymore. We have entire war councils itching to go into Alexandria, but first, we need to convince my mother—and the only way to do that is to unite the old-fashioned way. Think of all the people we could help if we joined together.”

Recognizing his offer comes from a place of generosity, I breathe out slowly. “Yes, I’m well aware, but I’m afraid of rushing into a decision—I’m scared I’ll regret it. Beatrix was right. I need to be more patient.”

“Two different issues⁠—”

“For so long, all of my decisions were made for me—to such a degree that I question everything I do now,” I say, my voice quivering.