Page 27 of Diary of a Biker Queen

I wasn’t really sure we could ever go back to being just friends after that. Something had changed. But my heart clenched now at the fact he couldn’t even look at me. I hated that he went and sat on the same couch as Amber, instead of wrapping his arms around me in the same protective way he had after he’d killed that man in MacGregor’s castle.

Despite watching him murder a man, I’d never felt safer than when I’d been in Lynx’s arms.

I swallowed hard. I needed Violet. Needed her to tell me what the hell I was supposed to do here, because somehow my life had become a hot mess, and the happy, normal existence I’d once envisioned for me and Dax now seemed messier and murkier than ever.

“Is Violet coming round today?” I asked Reaper through a choked-up throat.

He forced himself to face me. “Yeah. She’ll be here soon. Whip and X too, for a meeting. They just have to take the kids to school first.”

I nodded. The quicker she got here, the better. There had been too much testosterone around me for months now. I needed my best friend.

“Heads-up. Violet, X, and Whip are incoming.” The message from the prospect on the gates crackled through the walkie-talkie sitting on the Slayers’ bar.

I snapped my head up to peer at the security camera footage playing on the screens, confirming a car slow rolling down the hill toward the parking lot outside the clubhouse doors.

I was standing outside her door by the time she opened it, and while I had planned on giving her the hugest hug and asking her about the kids and her pregnancy and catching up on everything I’d missed, what I actually did was fall into her arms as a sob racked my chest.

To Violet’s credit, she knew exactly what to do. She wrapped her arms around me so tight, squeezing me until my body regulated against hers and the panicked urge to cry faded away.

X and Whip glanced at me, both of them giving me a “You good?” look, but when I nodded, they walked away, clearly satisfied I just needed Violet and they didn’t need to go murder someone on my behalf.

Violet’s men were murderers. Straight-up, cold-blooded killers who made no apologies about it. She was exactly who I needed to talk to.

“How do you do this?” I asked.

She pulled back, holding me at arm’s length. “Do what? Drive a car littered with crumbs and McDonald’s Happy Meal toys in the back seat?”

I smiled but shook my head. “How do you manage having feelings for three men?”

Her eyebrows rose in unison but quickly came back down. “Why do you ask? Are you…”

“Messed up in attraction and sex and friendship with three men? Yes.”

A smile flickered at the corner of her mouth. “Really? Okay, I’ve clearly missed some things. But Ny, I’m not sure that actually sounds like a bad thing…”

I couldn’t help but laugh either. “Yes, really! And yes, it’s a bad thing! I was with Dax. We were happy and maybe now we can be together again, but…”

Violet didn’t seem bothered that we’d skipped all the pleasantries and the catching up on what had been going on in our lives since we’d been separated. “But what? You love Dax. He loves you.”

“I know. And we’re having this baby…” I put my hand over my belly.

Violet’s eyes instantly filled with tears. “You’re still pregnant.”

I nodded as she peppered me with questions. “How was I feeling? When did I find out I hadn’t lost it? Did I know if it was a boy or a girl?”

I put my hand on her stomach, knowing she wouldn’t mind because I knew her that well. “We’re bump buddies.”

Though Violet’s bump was a lot more noticeable than mine, despite the fact we had to be only weeks apart and I might have even been farther along than she was.

She covered my hand with hers and smiled while her eyes watered. “Our babies are going to grow up together.”

I wanted that. So much. And yet I couldn’t even see what that might look like. I was under no delusions that Carlos Guerra, and my father, and even MacGregor were just suddenly going to leave me alone to live happily ever after.

There would be retribution for what I’d done. What I’d caused. I might be safe behind the Slayers’ gates for now, but I couldn’t hide here forever. And the moment I stepped outside them, things would change.

I didn’t have the energy or strength to deal with that yet. I needed to talk to Dax about what he wanted, and to Luca without taking my clothes off for him.

So for now, I was no longer the Mafia princess.