Page 30 of Diary of a Biker Queen

A lot I’d gotten away with.

Breaking bones. Blood. Fistfights. Threats and intimidation.

Me being an all-round horrible person to men who might have been criminals but really hadn’t deserved to be on the end of my wrath.

But I’d had no place else for the violence to go.

Grayson spoke to me softly. “You need something to keep you grounded until these feelings pass. If that’s killing people who deserve it, that’s okay. That’s what the list is for.”

Except that wasn’t what I needed. The more I let myself do that, the longer it would take until I felt like me again.

Grayson seemed to see or maybe sense the panic inside me, and maybe realized he was going down the wrong track. “Or you focus on what keeps you grounded. You say you black out when you have these urges. What brings you back?”

Nyah. I hadn’t had her inside the prison, and it had taken me a really long time to get back into some sort of regulated state.

But I’d had her at the castle. I’d been intent on murdering every man in that room.

Until she’d said my name. Until she’d been close enough to touch. Until I’d had my arms wrapped around her and could feel her breath on my too-hot skin.

I couldn’t use her as a crutch. My actions weren’t her responsibility. So I would never tell anyone the only reason I had stopped that night was because of her.

But she opened her mouth. “Me. I’m what grounds him.”

Everyone stared at her and then back at me.

Grayson’s jaw ticked. “That true, Lynx?”

I sighed. “I’m not her responsibility.”

Nyah leaned forward. “You’re my friend though. And tell me I’m wrong. Tell me you wouldn’t have murdered a dozen more men in that room if I hadn’t been there.”

I couldn’t.

I also couldn’t say that I wouldn’t have murdered a hundred if she’d asked me to. Or if they were a threat to her. I dropped my head into my hands.

I was so fucked. I didn’t need a murder squad.

I needed to get over this crush on a woman I couldn’t have and who only saw me as her friend.

And yet somehow we walked away from the meeting with the plan that I was not to be left alone.

And Nyah, since she was the one person who could keep me grounded, should be my babysitter.

11

LUCA

Dear Diary,

I’m no stranger to being the bad guy.

From the other side of the clubhouse, I watched Nyah and Lynx argue. He shook his head, towering over her, and she shoved her hands on her hips, glaring up at him, not willing to back down an inch, even though she had to be at least a foot shorter.

Dax came and perched himself beside me, watching them as well.

“You can’t be happy about this arrangement,” I said to him.

He glanced at me. “About the mother of my child being the only thing that snaps a serial killer out of his bloodlust? Yeah, I’m fucking thrilled.”