Page 48 of Diary of a Biker Queen

And yet I couldn’t. Because it wasn’t the truth.

“He left at some point. I haven’t seen him since.”

Dax gave me a knowing look and pressed to his feet. “He’s a dead man walking, Nyah. I’ll never forgive myself for hurting you, but I’ll never forgive myself for allowing this to happen to my mother either.”

I grabbed his hand when he tried to walk away. “This isn’t your fault.”

He spun back and glared at me. “Of course it is! I should have done more. Should have taken her somewhere safe. But instead, I was all wrapped up in you. I spent the night we got home touching and kissing you. Fucking you. Because you were all I’d thought about, all I’d wanted for months. And now my mother is dead because I didn’t do enough to protect her from a danger I fucking knew was lurking.”

I squeezed his fingers desperately, so badly wanting him to hear me. “You did nothing wrong! You called her and told her not to go back to the Guerras’.”

“It wasn’t enough though, was it? Apparently, I warned her about the wrong monster.”

I didn’t have anything to say to that.

He pulled his hand away. “I can’t do this with you right now. I love you, so fucking much, but I just need to be alone tonight.”

I nodded, understanding, but still hating it. Nothing good happened when he and I were apart.

But I let him go.

He kissed my mouth so gently that I knew every word he’d said was true. How Dax felt about me was always obvious in every touch, every look. But he was battling demons in his head and grief in his heart, and I couldn’t fix that for him. He just had to go through it, one day at a time.

As evolved as Dax was, if he didn’t want to fall apart in front of me and just wanted to hide somewhere to lick his wounds, that was understandable.

As long as he stayed here.

And Lynx stayed away.

Because I knew Lynx hadn’t done this. And there was no way I was letting Dax or anyone else hurt him. “You take the bedroom we had the other night,” I said softly.

“No, you take that.”

“It’s a full house here tonight. Every bed and couch is going to be needed. I’ll sleep in Lynx’s room.”

Dax’s eyes darkened. “Not a fucking chance.”

I pressed my finger against his lips. “Nobody else will.” I’d seen the way everyone had given Lynx’s room a wide berth, like he might suddenly spring out of it and shout, “Surprise! Who wants to die next?”

People were already filling air mattresses and finding spots on the common room floor, so leaving a perfectly good bed empty, one I’d slept in the night before, didn’t make any sense.

“It’s really not your choice where I sleep.”

There was no sass in my tone. It was quiet and honest, but a reminder that while I loved his protective side, he didn’t get to dictate what I did.

Dax’s expression gentled, like he knew I was right.

And that was the difference between him and my father and Carlos. The older men would have pinned me down, put me in a cage, forced me to submit to their will.

Dax listened when I told him what I needed.

And then gave it to me unconditionally.

So I was doing the same for him, in giving him space when he asked for it.

“Goodnight,” he said, strain in his voice.

“Goodnight.”