Page 45 of Surrogate For My Best Friend’s Man 2

I stared at him. “Man, you trying to get at Alisha?”

He laughed. “Man, I’m just saying she is fine as hell.”

“You ain’t shit.” I laughed.

Dre shook his head. “Look, on some real shit. Don’t let what they did turn you into somebody you ain’t.”

I looked down because part of me wanted to go off, part of me wanted to tear shit up, part of me wanted to make Deuce feel everything I was feeling. But none of that was going to fix shit.

Dre stood up and grabbed his jacket. “I’m about to get up out of here. I know you ain’t really in the mood to be entertaining. Just hit me up if you need me, you know I ain’t never far away.”

I nodded. “Aight.”

He stopped at the door then looked back. “And eat that food.”

I laughed. “Aight, man.”

He walked out and I locked the door behind him and stood there for a second. The house was quiet again. I looked around and I just couldn’t believe I bought this house for Shante because I loved her, now I didn’t even know what the hell I was going to do with it.

I sat back down on the couch, my phone was sitting beside me. I didn’t touch it for once, I didn’t want to hear anybody’s voice. I just wanted to sit with the truth. I needed to figure this shit out, because I wasn’t the type of nigga that was going to sit around and pout about getting played. Yeah my heart was broken but I wasn’t weak. If I could survive losing my Mama, then I know I could get through this shit.

Alisha was still walking around believing a lie, and that was fucked up. I wondered how long Deuce and Shante were gone keep going with the lie, she deserved the truth. Tired of thinking about it I got up and put the food away. I didn’t feel like doing shit so I stripped down, climbed into the bed, and stared at the ceiling.

Everything in this room was brand new, but somehow I still felt like I was laying in somebody else’s life. I rolled over and closed my eyes and the phone started ringing.

I didn’t look, I already knew it was Shante. I let it ring and it stopped. A few seconds later, it started again. I grabbed the phone and turned it facedown on the nightstand. “Man, leave me the fuck alone.” It finally stopped, I exhaled and closed my eyes again.

Five minutes later…

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

I snatched the phone up. “Goddamn!” I looked at the screen and it was Shante again. I declined it, then she called right back. I stared at that shit until I couldn’t take it anymore. I answered, “What, Shante?”

She was quiet for a second then I heard her sniffle. “I just wanted to tell you something.”

I rubbed my eyes. “What?”

“I’m not leaving you.” She mumbled

I sat up. “What?”

“I’m giving you space.” She took a breath. “But I’m not giving up on us.”

I didn’t say anything.

“I know you’re hurt and I know you don’t trust me right now and I know I fucked up. But I love you and I just wanted you to know I’m not going anywhere.”

I stared at the wall that shit might have made me happy before, but tonight it just made me tired. She started talking again. “I’m going to give you the time you need. You don’t have to worry about me blowing your phone up. I’m just…she paused. “I want you to know I’m still here.”

I didn’t have nothing to say, because if I opened my mouth, I might say something I couldn’t take back so I just hung up. I tossed the phone on the bed and I laid back down. The room went quiet again but my mind didn’t. Trust, that shit meant everything to me. I wasn’t one of those people who could hear an apology and forget everything happened.

If I gave you my word, I meant it. If you gave me yours, I expected the same. That’s how I had always been. Once I trusted you, I trusted you completely. I didn’t second guess what you said. I gave you the benefit of the doubt because I expected you to give me the same respect. Shante had that and she knew it.

That’s why this shit hurts so bad. She didn’t just lie, she made me build a whole future around a lie. I opened my eyes and stared into the darkness. I rolled onto my side. “Trust don’t come with an undo button.” Once it’s gone, you can’t just put that shit back where it was. You can apologize, you can cry, you can swear you changed. The person who trusted you before gone remember exactly what it felt like to find out you were lying.