Page 5 of Xavier

Xavier had given up on that concept after his last deployment as a Navy SEAL.

A familiar weight settled in his chest at the memories.

Two members of his team...friends... brothers of another mother...men who had given their lives for his mistake. His call. They’d gone in to clear a building he’d assumed was empty. Oh, it had been empty...except for the explosives rigged to go off when they’d breached the door.

His call had cost them their lives, and Xavier couldn’t forget that or forgive himself. He’d come home a different man.

So different, his fiancée hadn’t known who he was anymore. She’d tried to be supportive but had ultimately walked out. He’d left active duty and wallowed for a while before Hank Patterson hired him into the Brotherhood Protectors and placed him with men he’d worked with in the past, into a new region of his organization to be based in Louisiana in the small town of Bayou Mambaloa.

He’d hoped it was far enough away from the memories to allow him to start over. As time passed, he thought the guilt would lessen and he could find peace.

Instead, the guilt remained entrenched in his heart and mind, and he hadn’t found the peace he desperately needed. And worse, his teammates were moving on without him. He had less and less in common with them as they found the women that made them happy.

Remy’s comment about sticking around to find his mate proved how little they knew him, even though they’d worked together for years.

Perhaps a new job, a different location and new people would help him find where he belonged. Bayou Mambaloa wasn’t it.

Danny French, the red-haired waitress, stopped beside him and reached for the empty mugs littering the table. “Want another beer?”

“No, thank you,” he said. Alcohol wasn’t the answer. He’d learned that the hard way before Hank had brought him on board with the Brotherhood Protectors. If not for Hank, he might’ve still been drowning in memories night after night.

He owed Hank for that. Yet another weight of guilt, adding to what he already carried. Leaving Hank’s organization had been a tough call, but he had to get away from everything and everyone who reminded him of that last operation.

“What about you, Papa Noel?” Danny asked Anton.

“I’m not Papa Noel,” Anton Noel said. “I’m Anton Noel. I’m not anyone’s papa and don’t have any plans to change that anytime soon.”

“Oh, come on,” Danny said. “Christmas is coming. Don’t you want to bring Christmas cheer to all the bayou children in a few weeks?”

“Hell, no,” Anton said. “But you can bring me another beer.”

Danny shook her head, took orders from the others and wove her way through the gathering to another table of four strangers. As always, she leaned in carefully, listening to what they had to say before carrying her loaded tray back to the bar.

She was a good waitress, careful to listen to the customers, and she always got the orders right. At the same time, she didn’t put up with rowdy men who tried to take advantage of the fact that she was female.

He’d seen her slam a man three times her size to the ground and hold him there until he’d apologized for pinching her ass.

Perhaps Remy had Danny in mind for him.

Xavier shook his head.

Danny was a badass. A woman who knew her mind and didn’t suffer fools. She deserved someone who had his shit together. A man who didn’t have a past and the ghosts of the men he’d failed weighing him down.

No, Danny wasn’t for him.

He noticed Jacques’s gaze following the waitress. Maybe Jacques would find his mate in Danny. He was a better man and had his life in order.

His thoughts shifted to the one woman who wasn’t present at the Crawdad Hole and rarely was.

Lissette Gautier. He’d run into her at the local festival a couple nights before. Now, there was a woman with a past even heavier than his own.

His lips tipped upward on the corners.

She’d warned him that she was trouble and he should stay away from her.

He’d had a couple of beers and had mistakenly taken her warning as a challenge.

Since then, he’d sobered and realized starting something with the town pariah was the last thing he should do. His record was clean, except in his own mind, and he was on his way to a new job. He didn’t have time to pursue a woman when it would lead absolutely nowhere or exactly where she’d predicted.