Page 111 of Lucky 14

I don’t like this.

I glare at myself in the mirror. I don’t fucking like this. I don’t like feeling like I’m not enough. I am enough. I’ve always been enough.

Still, my past demons eat at me, the words empty. It’s not as easy as thinking yourself out of a situation. If logic worked, then I would have worked my way out of this problem a long time ago.

Holli’s a therapist. She could help me.

I jerk back, standing straight.

No, then I’d have to tell her everything. I’d have to tell her about her and…Poppy. I take a breath to calm my racing heart, realizing it’s been a long time since I’ve thought about Poppy. And it still hurts a little. But I realize just how differently Kyan and Holli treat me compared to her. They pay attention to me. Listen to me. Stay with me.

As I stand there, I realize that that relationship wasn’t perfect. I see that now. I wasn’t happy.

Am I happy now?

My heart sinks.

No. And yes? I’m trapped on an island surrounded by murderous people. Also surrounded by two people who have helped me and stuck with me despite everything. And I can’t argue that that doesn’t make me a little happy.

But how would a relationship with Ky even work? With multiple personalities?

I can’t help but think about it. Ky, Holli, and I together in some house far away from everyone else. Safe. Learning about each other. Slowly. The way it’s probably supposed to be.

Fuck, I don’t want it to be slow. I want to bury myself under their skin and trap them so they can never leave me. And yet that's the old me. I can’t have those thoughts anymore.

There’s a soft knock on the door, and I realize I haven’t gotten dressed.

“Uh, hang on.” Scrambling, I throw my pants on, then crack the door open. It’s Holli.

“Use all the hot water?” She arches an eyebrow.

I flush. She looks so pretty there with her unique hair giving her a fairy-like look, even though I know she could kill me with a single rock.

I feel my dick getting hard. Fuck, I like that.

Holli shoves at the door, stepping in.

“Ohhhh, if you guys are gonna fuck, be loud so I can hear you!” Ky’s voice drifts in from down the hall.

Now I’m really blushing, but Holli is going after the shower, stripping off her shirt. Immediately, I feel an odd sense of modesty. What if she doesn’t want me looking at her?

I turn to face the sink opposite her. Then I realize I can still see her back in the reflection. Her pretty, slender back.

I close my eyes, dick throbbing again. I can’t take advantage of her.

“You can’t call Wyatt Ky.” I hear the shower curtain close.

I pull in a breath. Right. Multiple personalities.

“Isn’t he Wyatt, too?” I ask.

“No.” Her answer is snappy; her mood has changed since she stood outside the door, almost flirting with me.

I scowl. Why is she mad at me? What did I do? Immediately, I start thinking back through everything. Is she mad because of what happened on the couch?

“Wyatt is not Kyan, and Kyan is not Wyatt. They’re different people.”

She has a right to be mad. I cross my arms.