Page 46 of Lucky 14

No. He can’t be hurt.

‘Run, Holli.’

Now, the voice sounds like Connor in the warm tone he always used when talking about my secret job. My eyes well with tears. Connor isn’t here. He can’t be. He’s dead.

Looking down at Elijah again, I see blond hair with a white streak in it, and under it, a handsome face.

Connor.

My heart skips at seeing his familiar face again after all this time.

Then I blink, and slowly, Connor’s face contorts. His right eye is bloody, and his other eye is vacant, his mouth open.

No! No, fuck!

Connor’s blond hair disappears under red blood and turns to soft curls. When I blink again, the rock falls into his skull, and I’m splattered with more warmth. This can’t be happening again. How can the one person who was willing to protect me look like…that? I can’t. I fucking can’t.

I throw another punch.

I have to go.

There’s nothing I can do.

Another punch.

I don’t want to die.

Ripping myself away, I feel both numb and horrified. I can’t do this. I can’t live this again.

So, I start running. Running from the man brutalizing Elijah. Running from the pain that threatens to grip me again, deciding that this isn’t real. This is all just a really bad dream. I’ll wake up soon.

The forest blurs.

I’ll wake up soon. I have to.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Day 3

Sunlight dapples across the dirt in front of me, and I stare at it blankly. It feels like I’ve been wrapped in a fog of…nothing.

Yesterday, I didn’t stop running until I collapsed. I’m not sure where I was, just that I didn’t have it in me to keep going. I crawled under a dense group of bushes and passed out. I woke sometime in the night, shivering and starving, with bugs crawling all over me. For a blissful second, I didn’t realize where I was. Then, all the feelings from what happened to Elijah came rushing back in a horrifying wave that gripped my chest. I lay there, paralyzed with the pain in my chest.

Then, slowly, blissfully, I started to shut down. My breathing slowed, the feelings became distant, and finally, peace. I didn’t know who that girl was who would always be alone. She didn’t feel like me. I was numb.

I lay there until someone passed by about fifty feet from where I was. I barely glanced at them, staring up into the sky. If it were my time to go, then at least I wouldn’t feel anything.

But the person passed. And as the sun came up in the sky, the birds started singing, bugs started biting me, and that horrible, awful feeling started coming back.

Not safe. You aren’t safe.

My chest tightens, and I stare at the sunlight. It moves like water, dancing with the leaves and the wind. Frowning, I try to keep the fear building in my lungs down.

Just breathe.

My thighs start to tingle with warmth.

Run.