Page 71 of Lucky 14

Frozen, I stand there, stuck between two horrible options.

That’s when I see the notepad on the desk.

The ‘stay here’ is underlined.

A bunch of emotions roll through me at once. Anger, defiance, hatred, helplessness, and fear all roll up and slap me like ocean waves. Energy coils up in my body and vibrates down my arms in an odd sensation that I don’t know what to do with. So, I slap the offending note off the table.

The notepad shoots off the end, fluttering to the ground, pages flapping around. I glare at it after it’s landed, breathing hard.

How dare he? How dare he fuck up my life like this?

And that’s when I notice there’s more writing than just one page. The pad is covered in dark scribbles. Frowning, I pick it back up.

Hello, new swine flu? What is wrong with these people?

If they make me kill any baby bunnies, I won’t do it.

That crazy bitch? I scan rapidly through the notes. They look similar, noting down dates, times, and different events. I stop when I see my name, stomach turning to ice.

That’s all it says. Frantically, I scan the rest of the notes, but nothing else says my name. I’m panting. What does this mean? Why am I here? There’s nothing else with my name, but there are a bunch of things scribbled up the sides of the paper.

I’m a horrible person. I don’t deserve love. I am such a piece of shit. No wonder everyone hates me. No wonder everyone leaves me.

The last line is written so hard that the pen has dug into the paper, and I latch onto the last line.

He acknowledges he’s horrible.

That he’s here for horrible reasons. That he’s going to do horrible things to me.

My stomach twists, and I think I might be sick. Then flip back to the first one. He doesn’t know where he is? He has no phone?

Immediately, I kick myself for not thinking about stealing a phone from Oakley to call for help. Life has been nothing but blood, running, fear, a protein bar, and pain. Although now it seems like it wasn’t even an option.

There’s rustling at the door. Immediately, I feel like I’ve been caught looking at something I shouldn’t. Frantically, I look around, then stuff the notepad under the pillow behind me.

Oakley walks in carrying takeaway boxes and bottles of water tucked under his arm. His eyes are wide, but when he sees me, they soften.

“You’re still here,” he says softly, like he can’t believe it. He clears his throat. “The cafeteria was closed, but I got some leftovers.” Carefully, he puts a takeout box at the end of the bed where I am. It settles with a squeak.

“I also got some meds.” He juggles the other things out from under his arms, then holds out his fist, showing a handful of white pills. For a second, he stares at them, then his face flushes. “I swear they’re pain meds, I saw the bottle they came out of.”

We just sit there in awkward silence.

“Right.” He looks around, then puts them on the bed, running his hand through the hair that’s fallen in his face. “I think the dinner is some sort of beef and rice.”

I evaluate Oakley, wondering if he left that notepad for me to find or to throw me off. He’s found a shirt somewhere. He won’t look at me, cheeks red. There’s a sound in the hallway, and he jumps.

I swallow, glancing towards the door.

Oakley squares his shoulders. “Right. No one said anything to me. We’ll be okay for tonight. But it’s past ten, so everyone is here.”

I stare at the man as if that’ll reveal everything I need to know. Infuriatingly, it doesn’t. All I see is a hot man with crinkles of fear and uncertainty around his eyes.

My leg hurts, my head hurts, my ear hurts, and I feel cold with my wet hair. I probably need more water, although the food doesn’t appeal to me at all. Which is absolutely not a good sign.

Cautiously, I reach for a water bottle. Oakley doesn’t stop me or lunge at me, and the seal is still on. Snapping it open, I take a sip. The water is cooling, and I shiver, glancing up at the thermostat.

It reads seventy-five.