Page 44 of Off the Trail

“No,” he says quickly, eyes flying open. “I mean, I don’t think so. It’s never really come up before.”

My chest puffs with the knowledge that I’m the only retreat guest he’s ever kissed on this dock under the stars.

Still, I feel the need to make sure. “You don’t make a habit of seducing guests with fishing and night hikes?”

He shakes his head. “Never,” he says seriously.

God, I want him so badly.

“Come to my cabin with me. Please.”

Chapter 17

Blaze

I must be out of my goddamn mind. What do I think I’m doing? How did this even happen? One minute Shawn was turning my own pop psychology around on me and it was working, and the next I was touching him and then he asked if he could kiss me and I said yes?

My brief window for internally freaking out is over because, all of a sudden, we’re at his cabin. The only light is the one above the keypad where Shawn stabs in the code to unlock the door. It doesn’t work the first time, so he has to do it again, and good, it means I’m not the only one who’s nervous.

The entire evening has been surreal, starting when Shawn sat down at my table, grinning like a boy who just ate candy for the first time, full of joy and energy. I’d never seen him like that—purely, straightforwardly happy, and it looked so good on him it hurt. I want to see him happy like that every day. I want to make him happy like that every day. Fifteen minutes ago, I wouldn’t have thought I had that power, but then he said he wanted me, and now anything seems possible.

When he finally gets the door open, we step inside the dark living room. It’s much warmer in here than by the water. I shed my jacket instinctively, and Shawn loses his, too, then switches on a table lamp. We stare at each other for a second. I’m still not sure I should be doing this, but I’m emotionally raw enough not to care. My entire life got shifted on its axis when Brooke told me about her and her boss-slash-boyfriend, and then when she told me she didn’t want the house. It shifted yet again when Shawn kissed me, a very definite before-and-after moment of my existence.

The first time he kissed me it was good, but kind of tentative. I thought maybe it wasn’t what he’d hoped it would be. Maybe he’d decided kissing me was a mistake. But then he kissed me again, and it didn’t feel tentative at all. It felt good. And hot. And I’m looking at his mouth now, wondering if we’re going to kiss again.

“Um, you want to sit down?” He gestures to the sand-colored sofa like he’s trying to sell it to me.

I sit and lean over to unlace my boots. I doubt Marika wants my work boots anywhere near the upholstery in this place. I shake my head at the thought of my boss.

“What?”

“Just—nothing. This is a little weird.”

He sits next to me, unlaces his own shoes, and pushes them under the sofa. “Weird how?” There’s definitely a thread of hurt in his voice.

“Not you,” I say quickly. “You’re not weird. There’s nothing weird about you.”

“Well, I wouldn’t go that far,” he says, and the teasing eases some of my anxiety.

“It’s just—this is where I work.”

“Should we go to your place?” he asks, because he’s considerate like that. But the idea of having him over tonight, with Brooke in the next room—okay, maybe she has a point that we need to disentangle our lives a little bit.

“No, it’s okay. Let me adjust.”

“Sure. There’s a lot of this that’s new to me, too.”

Right, because it turns out he’d never kissed a guy before. Which kind of tracks, honestly. I laugh, because Brooke was right.

“What’s so funny?” he asks.

“It’s just my sister—she said we were dating. Which didn’t make any sense because, well, we weren’t dating. How could I date a guy who’s not into guys? But now you are into guys—or at least into me,” I add a little shyly.

“I’m into you,” Shawn says, sounding dead serious, and my entire body flushes.

“So we were dating?”

“I have no idea,” he says, laughing now, too. “I don’t think we were doing it on purpose, but looking back, yeah. Dating central. The dinner definitely felt like a date. I didn’t know if you felt it, too.”