Page 47 of Off the Trail

I push myself up on my elbows so I can meet him for a kiss. I’m swiftly getting addicted to the feel of his whiskers on my skin. “Wanna take a shower?”

“Together?”

“Yeah, it’s big enough.” The large glass stall is probably roomy enough to fit four burly guys. Not that I want to test the theory out. Blaze is more than enough for me.

“I—” He looks like he wants to say yes, but I already feel disappointment welling up in my chest. “I better go home. Brooke probably took care of Misty, but I should make sure. And I have an early morning tomorrow. Taking some guests out on the lake. Kayaking.”

“Sure. Of course.” He’s not on vacation, like I am. He has responsibilities and work. I’m a selfish prick for even thinking about insisting he blow all that off for me.

“But you said something about a date? One we both know is a date this time?” He tucks himself away, buttons his fly and belt. “I’m free tomorrow night.”

I pivot away from dejection and focus on the next time I can see him. “A date. Yes. Good idea. I mean, it was my idea, but⁠—”

“Six o’clock?”

“Sure, six. Tomorrow. For a date. I’ll…” I was about to say pick him up, but I don’t have a vehicle. Not to mention I have no idea where to take him on this unexpectedly high-pressure date.

“I can pick you up,” he says, rescuing me again. He finds his shirts over the side of the sofa and climbs off me in order to put them on.

“Okay. Thanks.” I sit up, feeling slightly tacky as the come on my skin dries in the cold air. Tacky in more ways than one. Not that I regret anything, but I’d sort of been looking forward to continuing the physical stuff. I’d just been warming up. I reach for my own shirt, but I’m just going to hit the shower anyway, so I drop it to deal with later.

Blaze is lacing up his boots, not looking at me. I don’t regret anything, but maybe he does? Otherwise, why would he be jetting out of here so fast?

“You sure you have to leave?”

He knots his boots. His gaze skates over my chest before he meets my eyes. “Yeah, I do.”

I swallow with difficulty. “Okay.”

“To be honest, I don’t really want to. But there’s Misty. And I think if I stay…”

“What?”

“I won’t want to leave. Like, ever. And it’s—I don’t know. I don’t want to rush things. It’s your first time. You should make sure you’re only doing what you feel comfortable doing.”

“I was just getting started,” I say, slightly frustrated at his consideration. “You don’t have to worry about me, you know.”

“Worrying is in my DNA,” he says. “I worry about the people I care about.”

“And you care about me?” I say, unable to resist.

He looks at me, not a hint of irony on his face. “Yeah, I do.”

I get it then, that this isn’t a casual hook up for him—not really. If he were the kind of guy who just wanted to get off with someone, he’d be way more experienced than he is. And that makes me feel better than the orgasm did. My whole life I’ve been able to count on one hand the people in this world who truly care about Shawn Camden, the human being, rather than Shawn Camden, shortstop.

That number has grown by one.

After he’s gone, I make my way to the shower, wash off the sex and the sweat from the day. I touch my lips, imagining I can feel Blaze’s on mine. Part of me can’t believe I took the risk, but the other part is absurdly proud of making a move. Because being with Blaze feels right in a way I’ve never known before.

The only trouble is what it means that I found this magical, precious thing with someone who lives in this out of the way piece of nowhere. I’m a long way from my life in Hartford.

But isn’t that what I’ve been trying to get my head around? That even if baseball is behind me, there’s more to life than the game. There’s more to me than the game. If that’s true, then where the hell do I go from here?

Chapter 19

Blaze

I’m out of the house the next morning before Brooke’s up, getting Misty into the truck and heading to the boathouse while the sun’s barely cracked the tree line. I’m not avoiding my sister exactly. But I don’t know how to process the changes she’s bringing while the memory of coming on Shawn Camden’s abs last night is so fresh I can still hear him telling me to do it in his sex-raspy voice.