Page 120 of Vows of Ruin

Reaper

Wrenley sleeps with her cheek against my chest, one hand curled in the fabric of my shirt like she’s afraid I’ll disappear if she lets go. Max is pressed against her other side, arm draped over her waist, breath steady and warm against her shoulder. It should be peaceful. It should be heaven. It should be the safest place I’ve ever been. Not tonight though, and it’s killing me.

The room is dark enough that I can barely see the outline of her lashes against her cheek, the small rise of her lips as she breathes in and out, soft and steady. Her hair, all that unruly flame-red, spilled across my arm like she’d marked me in the middle of the night. Her body fits perfectly against mine, tucked beneath my chin, exactly where she belongs.

I hold her tighter, knowing what I’m about to do. Her breath stirs against my skin, slow, even, trusting. Max shifts in his sleep, the mattress dipping just slightly with the movement, his fingertips brushing hers in a way that makes something warm and sharp lodge under my ribcage.

My family. My heart. My reason. I close my eyes, memorizing the rhythm of their breathing, hers light and steady, Max’s deeper and heavier. I count them. Anchor myself in them. Let them carve themselves into the deepest parts of me. Because soon, I won’t have this. Soon, they’ll wake up to the cold space where I should be.

Wrenley murmurs something in her sleep, soft and unintelligible, her fingers tightening on my shirt. My chest burns. God, I love her. More than I ever thought possible. More than I ever should. More than a man like me deserves. I think of the promise we made, the one she whispered against my lips, the one she looked me in the eyes and swore… Always.

Always. I swallow hard. “I’m sorry,” I whisper silently, words meant only for the dark. Because this is the only way. The only path that ends with her alive and safe. The only move that gets her out from Sebastian’s shadow before it wraps itself around her throat.

She doesn’t know how deep it runs. She doesn’t know what he’s planning. She doesn’t know what I found last night, the thing that made every hair on my body stand on end, the thing that told me there’s no more time to wait.

This isn’t just about ending him. It’s about protecting her. I can’t do that with her at my side. I can’t let Max follow me into this either, because if he does, and something happens to both of us, she’s left alone. I won’t risk that.

“I’m protecting you,” I whisper, brushing my thumb over her knuckles. Both of you. Even if it destroys me. Even if it destroys us. I press my lips to the top of her head, breathing her in, paint, lavender, warmth, and the soft sweetness she never sees in herself.

“I love you,” I whisper into her hair, so quiet, neither of them stirs. Then I ease my arm out from under her, slow enough not to wake her, gentle enough not to disturb Max, and sit on the edge of the bed.

I take one last look at the two of them, tangled together, safe, alive, and unaware. I know with absolute certainty. This is the last time I’ll ever lie beside them like this. Not because I don’t want it. Not because I don’t need them. But because the only way to keep my promise of… always… is to break it, and walk into hell alone.

The war room is almost silent. Only the soft hum of the monitors. Only the slow click of the clock on the wall. Only Hugo shifting against my foot, sensing everything I’m holding back.

I sit at the long table with nothing but a piece of paper and pen in front of me. My hands shake once before I force them still. I write Max’s name at the top. The rest comes in one slow, painful exhale.

Max,

Thank you for letting me love her out loud. Thank you for never making me hide it or feel wrong for it. Thank you for standing beside me instead of in front of me.

I stop. Breathe. Tap the pen once.

You are the best brother I’ve ever had. You are the best man I know. Take care of yourself. Take care of her. Take care of all of our brothers.

My hand tightens on the pen hard enough to crack it.

And know this, I love you. Always.

-Liam

The pen drops from my fingers like it’s made of lead. Hugo whines quietly. “I know,” I whisper, reaching down to rub behind his ear. “I know, buddy.”

It takes me a moment before I can stand. Before I can set up the camera, and I can bring myself to press record. I turn on the small speaker beside me, soft, barely audible, and cue up our song. The Night We Met by Lord Huron. The one she clung to. The one she played in the dark on the nights she thought she wasn’t being watched. The one we danced to, slow and quiet, when she finally let herself fall. The notes drift into the room like ghosts.

I look into the lens, into her, and I start speaking before I can lose my nerve.

“Hey, little warrior. If you’re watching this… it means I’m gone. And I’m sorry. God, I’m so sorry. I never wanted you to see me like this, never wanted you to hear these words from a damn screen, but I need you to know the truth, all of it, before you try to hate me for leaving.”

My breath trembles, but I keep going.

“I love you. I love you more than I ever thought a man like me was capable of. Before you, I thought love was something other people got. Better people. Softer people. People who didn’t have blood on their hands or ghosts in their hearts or nightmares waiting behind their eyelids. But then you walked in and you looked at me like I was someone worth keeping. Like there was something in me still worth saving. And maybe there was. Maybe you were right. Because somewhere along the way, somehow, I must’ve redeemed myself just enough for the universe to put you in my path.”

I drag in a breath that shakes my whole frame.

“You were my miracle. You still are. And I don’t deserve you, not your light, not your fire, not the way you say my name like it’s worth saying. I’ve done terrible things, Wrenley. Awful, unforgivable things. But loving you wasn’t one of them. Loving you was the only good thing I ever did right. And you let me. You let me love you. Out loud. Without shame. Without fear. Like I was someone worth choosing.”

The music hums behind me, soft and haunting.