Page 38 of Scars and Crowns

I blink. "What?"

She lets go of Yuvaan immediately and runs toward me. "We wanted to surprise you!"

She throws herself against me with enough force that I instinctively crouch down to catch her. Her little arms wrap tightly around my waist. I hug her back without thinking. Breathing in the familiar scent of baby shampoo and sunshine that somehow always seems to follow her. She pulls away just enough to cup my cheeks between both tiny hands.

Apparently this is the only acceptable way to hold serious conversations. Behind her . . . Yuvaan laughs.

Not politely.

Not quietly.

A real laugh.

The sound fills the room so naturally that I realise, with a strange little ache, how much I'd forgotten what it sounded like.

"Mumma," Sara announces importantly, "do you know what happened?"

"What happened?"

"Mister was trying to sneak out without waking you." She lowers her voice dramatically. "But I caught him." I slowly lift my eyes toward Yuvaan.

His ears have turned unmistakably pink. He's suddenly become very interested in absolutely everything except looking at me. The curtains. The ceiling. The wardrobe. Anywhere but here.

I bite the inside of my cheek. Very hard. "So . . . " I manage, trying not to smile. "You've already discovered what happens when five-year-olds learn secrets."

He finally glances at me. "They tell everyone."

"Exactly." I nod with complete sympathy. "I've suffered through that for years."

Sara beams proudly. Completely unaware that she's just exposed his carefully planned surprise. "He helped me brush my teeth," she continues enthusiastically. "And then . . . " Her eyes grow even brighter. "We went to the kitchen." I look from her to Yuvaan. "And we made breakfast for you."

The words settle softly somewhere inside me. For a moment . . . I simply look at him. Really look. He must have woken up early. Somehow convinced Sara to brush her teeth without an argument, which deserves recognition on its own. Taken her downstairs. Cooked. Or at least attempted to. All before I opened my eyes. Just so he could surprise me? I don't think anyone has ever done something so quietly thoughtful for me.

I rise slowly. "Yuvaan . . . " The words thank you are already forming. He shakes his head almost immediately. Setting the tray gently on the bed before I can finish.

"Don't." His voice is barely above a whisper. "Don't thank me." As though gratitude would somehow make the gesture smaller.

Then, without giving me time to argue, he turns toward Sara. "Princess."

She looks up immediately. "Shouldn't breakfast be eaten in bed today?"

Her eyes become impossibly round. "Really?"

"Really."

A delighted squeal escapes her. Within seconds she climbs onto the bed, bouncing excitedly against the pillows. "Mumma!" She pats the mattress beside her. "Hurry! We're having breakfast in bed!"

I stand there for one suspended second. Something catches painfully in my throat. Breakfast in bed. Such a small thing. So ordinary for some families. So impossible for ours. For five years every morning had begun with calculations. Rent. Milk. Bus fare. Groceries.

There had never been room for luxuries. Not even tiny ones. Especially not tiny ones. I swallow carefully before the emotion reaches my face. Then smile as brightly as I can manage. "I haven't had breakfast in bed for a very long time either."

I climb onto the mattress beside her. She immediately reaches for the toast.

"No patience," I laugh, watching her. "Not even one second."

I glance toward Yuvaan. "No self-control when food is involved."

He smiles. Softly.