Page 97 of Scars and Crowns

HOW COULD I NOT?

YUVAAN

I'm three steps away from her when she asks that question, and I swear something inside me stops. Not because I don't know the answer. Because I cannot believe she has spent even a single day thinking that question needed asking. "What is there left in me that's worth loving?" The words echo through the room long after she's finished speaking.

For a moment, all I can do is look at her. At the woman sitting across from me with tears slipping silently down her face, genuinely waiting for an answer. As though love is something earned. As though it could be measured against mistakes or scars or the years life has taken from a person.

Something hot and sharp rises in my chest. Not anger at her. Never her. At everyone who let her believe this. At every lonely year that convinced her she had to become smaller to deserve kindness. At every person who looked at the strongest woman I've ever known and somehow made her question whether she was enough.

I drag a slow breath into my lungs before I trust myself to speak. "What is there to love in you . . . " I repeat the question quietly, tasting the words as though maybe I've misunderstood them. Then I look back at her. "Daisy . . . " My voice comes out rougher than I intend. " . . . do you even hear yourself?"

She flinches. Just enough for me to notice. I hate myself for it immediately. I soften my voice, but not the truth beneath it. She doesn't need gentle lies. She deserves the whole truth. "You ask me how I could love you like this." I shake my head slowly. "And all I can think is . . . " A helpless laugh escapes me. " . . . how could I possibly not?"

I move closer before I even realise I'm doing it. When I reach her, I sink down onto the floor until we're facing each other properly. My hands reach for her cheeks almost instinctively. Then they stop. Hovering. For the first time in years . . . I'm afraid. Not of rejection. Of the possibility that she might pull away. My fingers tremble. Actually tremble. I almost laugh at myself.

A Maharaja who negotiates with ministers without blinking . . . is hesitating over holding the face of the woman he's loved almost his entire life. She notices. Instead of moving away . . . She closes the distance herself. The contact is so small. So ordinary. Yet I feel it everywhere. My chest tightens. My breathing catches.

I close my eyes for the briefest second, letting myself simply feel the warmth of her hands resting inside mine.

God.

I'd forgotten what this felt like.

No.

I hadn't forgotten. I'd remembered it every single day.

"I need you to understand something." My thumbs brush slowly across her cheek. "When I'm in a room with you . . . " I smile faintly. " . . . there isn't a room anymore."

She blinks at me.

"I could be sitting through the most important council meeting of my life."

"Thirty people arguing."

"Documents spread across the table."

"The future of this estate hanging on whatever decision gets made next." I let out a quiet breath. "And then you'd walk in." My eyes don't leave hers. "And every single one of them would disappear."

"I don't choose that."

"I've tried. So many times."

"I've tried to focus on anything else."

"It never works."

"You've always been . . . " I search for the right word. " . . . the first thing my heart notices."

A tear slips down her cheek. I automatically wipe it away. She leans into my hand. My thumb brushes across warm skin. She closes her eyes. Such a tiny movement. Such impossible trust. I almost break. "When you're not with me . . . " I whisper. " . . . you're still with me." A watery laugh escapes me. "I'll be walking through the gardens and see a flower."

"I'll think . . . " A smile tugs helplessly at my mouth. " . . . Daisy would stop here."

"She'd kneel down."

"She'd spend five whole minutes admiring one flower while everyone else walked straight past it." She smiles through her tears. "I'll find an oddly shaped stone."

"I'll wonder whether you'd put it in your pocket because you always believed ordinary things deserved to be loved too."