Page 90 of Keepsakes and Kismet

He winces.

“Wow, Carter. I was just starting to feel better about myself. This is going to set me way back.”

Carter pales. “Fuck. Sorry. I just don’t want you to get your hopes up, and then… Wait. Are you messing with me? I knew it! What the hell would DT be doing in Waterton?”

I double over with laughter. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed this hard in my life. My eyes water, and the sight of me causes Carter to break, too.

“I did meet him, and he was visiting Peyton.” I can barely get the words out between wheezes. “She’s best friends with his little sister. But he’s very happily married, and she’s not interested.”

Carter heaves a sigh. “Thank God. And you suck for not texting me immediately. I would’ve wanted an autograph.”

I start my last set. “I had to be cool. I didn’t want to freak Peyton out, and he was kind of incognito. They were barely here. Just stopped by before heading back to Columbus.”

Carter nudges my elbow closer to my ribs. “Fix your form. Also, if it wasn’t confirmed before, it definitely is now. You cannot break up with that woman. At least not until I meet DT first.”

“Wasn’t planning on it. For other reasons, though.”

“Yeah. Those, too.” Carter assesses my form again, nodding with approval. “So what’re you up to tonight?”

Sucking in a deep breath between bicep curls, I grit out, “Peyton invited me over.”

“Over to her place? Tonight?”

I let the weights hang at my sides, a quick reprieve for my burning muscles. “Yeah… what of it?”

“That’s great, man. I’m really happy for you. I didn’t know you were there yet.” He pulls his shirt off his chest, fanning himself to cool down.

“You didn’t know I was where? At the point in my relationship where I can hang out at her house as a grown adult?”

He holds his hands up. “Sorry! It’s just…”

“Say what you want to say, Carter.”

He shrugs. “It’s nothing. But if you need condoms, I have some in my bag I can give you.”

That gives me pause.

With Peyton… Of course, sex has crossed my mind. But knowing her aversions, I’ve tried to intentionally put it off my radar. Sex feels big, compared to what we’ve done so far, and I don’t want to obsess over something she’s not even ready to explore.

Even if she was ready, Peyton likely has more experience with all of this than I do, and I don’t want to disappoint her. I also might’ve forgotten some of the “technical details.” Remembering to buy condoms, the best kind of lube… I guess I’m not fully up to date on sex, considering it’s been years since I’ve had it.

All in all, I kind of resent Carter for bringing it up.

I want it to be good for Peyton, which leaves me with only one unappealing option—asking my little brother.

I clear my throat. “Is there… anything, uh, new I should know, if it happens?”

He shrugs. “Same old, same old. But you’ll enjoy it more since you love her. I’ve only ever had that once in college, and it was the best sex of my life.”

Love her.

Do I love Peyton?

An intense realization clicks into place as I process this revelation. I feel this rush of sudden understanding traveling up my spine, coating my ribs in something unexpected but welcome.

“Did I break you?” Carter says, looking slightly panicked, and I realize I’ve been staring blankly at his forehead.

“You didn’t break me. I just…” I trail off. Hypothetical sex is one thing, but I don’t want to talk to him about the depth of my feelings for Peyton. Feelings I haven’t even shared with her yet.