Page 125 of Elysian

“My blood replenished him?” I managed to ask.

“Yes, but for a moment, perhaps two. Every time you bleed, it takes from him, and every time he feeds, you are being healed by him. He cannot give fast enough to outrun how keeping you alive empties him.” She snapped her fingers. “That was what that dream was about,” she muttered to herself.

I reeled, watching her rub her temples. Cassiel had not responded. I went to his side and lowered beside him. All he had done was to keep me alive, and it was at a cost to him. Yet, he hid it from me. Even when I cut my arm, he did not stop me after the initial time. He had borne the weakening.

How he had behaved on the trip, weakening, paling, and still he carried me when I needed it. All he had sacrificed for me without my knowledge.

The path I bled was paid for by Cassiel. Then he had retreated and licked his wounds without a word to me.

I had no doubt he would not have told me if I had not found him like this.

“If I complete our bond, will this go away?” I trailed my fingertips over the lines. Most remained right under the surface of his skin, slightly raised and uneven. As though his own power had turned inward and begun to devour him.

She remained silent for a few beats. “In theory, yes. He would not be draining his gift to heal you at all times.”

“Okay,” I whispered. I owed him for healing me and putting him through such agony. Harming another was not in my nature, nor was knowing I had harmed someone when I could stop it.

Especially my bondmate. As maddened as he made me, I would not abuse his body this way. I’d festered over the line of text in the grimoire that had not left me since I read it.

“Okay,” I whispered. I grabbed his arm, bringing his hand up to my face. His hand fell limply back, and I leaned over him, poised to bite.

“No,” he croaked, hand clasping over my mouth to stop me. Cassiel coughed and rolled to the side, angling his face to the floor as if he would vomit. Nothing came up. He slapped his palm on the ground.

“Remain still for a few moments,” I ordered.

“No!” he bellowed, struggling to get to his feet. He snarled at Lucinda, and she yelped.

“I will leave you two alone.” She left quickly, her dress billowing behind her at her speed.

Cassiel was already at the bed, falling onto his side. He scooted higher, lifting his legs as if they were weighted down.

“You never told me cutting my arm was hurting you.” Cassiel lay back, eyes closed. He only grunted. “This is serious, Cassiel. Your body is devouring itself!”

“I need to rest,” he retorted mulishly.

Words didn’t come. I was too stunned by his indifference. He squinted and grabbed at the edge of the fur blanket, tugging it over his lap. It hid some of the withering signs. He laid his head back down, resting against the head of the bed.

Stubborn male.

Grabbing the journal from under the settee cushion, I carried it to the bed. I began to read the part about bondmates as I walked over.

The bite will fuse those Elysian paired.

His breathing slowed, then regained its usual speed. As much as it seemed like he was not listening—he was. I didn’t read the rest of it. Not aloud.

Elysian paired—not fated. Two in balance, each the answer to the other’s lack. Where there is harmony, there is the bond, and with the bond, a gift. To sense the other’s peril, and shield against it. Yet let none mistake it. It binds, it does not compel the heart. It ties the thread, it does not command what runs along it. What grows between the paired must be their own, or it does not bloom at all.

It left me feeling as off balance as the first time I read it.

“If I claim you, you will no longer be drained by me.” I steeled my voice.

One heartbeat, two heartbeats, then he finally stirred, dragging himself awake.

The intensity of his gaze stripped me bare.

“No.”

CHAPTER FORTY-ONE