Page 20 of Badmouths & Bards

To say Tala was sick with worry was an understatement. There was so much that could have gone wrong and not nearly enough time for Tala to fix any of it. If she hadn’t lost her temper, if she hadn’t been summoned to the High Conservator’s room and tested, then maybe Tala would have been able to travel to Parandor Stronghold. Maybe she would have ran into Avie—

It wouldn’t matter because I don’t know where the fuck she is! Tala thought, groaning into the pillow on her bed.

She had been an official bodyguard for Face and Crop Top for three days, and all it had really amounted to was listening to their manager go over security detail. All of it was standard—no different from some of the other low effort missions Tala had run in the past for both the Moon Maidens and Dauntless Verity. Guarding a closed off area of the temple from the public or making sure the High Conservator made it to another temple in peace.

Bitch work, really.

Either way the mission was clear: protect Face and Crop Top from any and all threats. Apparently being famous came with some less than stellar perks, but Seira hadn’t elaborated more than that. Granted, the bed Tala had slept in the past few days would be worth the trouble—in her humble opinion, anyway. The Valiant Circle wasn’t hurting for gold by any means—they had funding through donations and mission work. But the rooms for the disciples were simple, the sheets adequate. The bed Tala had now was pure luxury, and she wanted desperately to tell Avie about it. About everything.

Including those two blue bastards.

Tala and Avie’s experience with bards was limited to the local talent at the Tipsy Top Inn. There were one or two bards that frequented the place. One of them—a halfling man—played the flute while the other—an elf woman—sang sea shanties. Face and Crop Top were apparently a big enough deal that they needed a trained warrior to keep an eye out for them. That was another new thing—being around famous folk.

Tala’s background had been comfortable—at least prior to joining the Moon Maidens. Avie’s life was similar, as her father was a paladin, which usually meant comfortable living, but that didn’t mean the pair was drowning in gold either. Tala had seen the size of the money sack Seira had slipped Cercel before he left her. That was the kind of gold that nobles had and it irritated Tala just a bit to know that she wouldn’t see a lick of it.

Hey, Avie, guess what? I gotta keep these two rich bard assholes alive for the next three or four months or else the Valiant Circle is gonna ship me to another temple. How many gods do you think I can cycle through before they run out of temples to send me to?

Tala groaned even louder into her pillow, grabbing the second one at her side to cover her head.

The only reason Tala tolerated the Valiant Circle was because of Avie. If the High Conservator shipped her off to another temple, to another god, it meant Tala would never see Avie again. At least her current assignment kept her in Eshorion, but if Avie was in trouble, how the fuck was Tala going to help her now? The guilt weighed heavily in Tala’s stomach, to the point where she had dismissed the maid service when they knocked for dinner the night before.

Glancing toward the window where the early morning sun was shining through, Tala sighed. She shoved herself off the bed and reached for her freshly laundered clothes. It was weird having access to a personal laundry maid, given that was something else the temple disciples did. At twenty-six, Tala had seen more of her fellow warriors’ underwear than she had seen of the people she had slept with thanks to wash day.

Tala donned her usual uniform, fastening her batons to her waist as the final step. She was still wearing the makeup she worn the night before, but based on the vanity mirror, Tala thought she still pulled it off fine.

Besides, it’s not like I wanna look nice for anyone—

She winced when Face and Crop Top flashed across her vision.

Irritated with herself, Tala hopped in place as she shook her wrists. That was the other thing she wished she could tell Avie over a couple of pints because Tala knew her friend would ask the question.

‘Yeah, they sound like assholes, but are they hot?’

Tala knew she would say no, just like she knew Avie would call her on her bullshit. After a shot or two, Tala would finally admit that they were okay to look at and Avie would tease. That’s how that routine would go until Tala dared Avie to do something reckless to distract from the moment.

What was frustrating was that they were hot. Not Tala’s type at all, but somebody’s type of hot for sure. There was a reason why she referred to them in her head as Face and Crop Top instead of Casimine and Ameriden.

Tala paused at the door of her room, hand clasping the opal tightly. Avie still hadn’t responded, despite Tala hoping she finally would.

“Avie, just be safe, okay?” Tala whispered to the opal, knowing the magic was spent for the day. “And message me. I need to tell you about these two weirdos.”

Exiting her room, Tala started her routine path. Seira had ensured Tala’s room was right next to the boys, while her own was just down the hall. The Golden Manor had two points of entry on the bottom floor. The main entrance where the guests arrived through two large double doors made out of the finest wood. The second was the servants entrance at the back of the building. That’s where the workers all entered for the day and where merchant supplies like groceries were dropped off.

The Golden Manor had five rental floors, with the lower two having approximately twelve rooms on each floor, not including the shared washrooms at each end. The top three floors had half as many rooms, but that was due to the massive size of each bedroom. Unlike the bottom floors, the top three had private washrooms.

Tala had done her homework the moment Cercel had told her where they would be going. That first night she had learned the ins and outs of the Golden Manor and was silently stalking the long hallway in the early morning. The walk was boring as fuck, but the routine of it cut into the time she would have to spend sitting outside of their room.

Like some kind of creep, Tala thought as she reached the stairs.

“—you sure?”

Pausing, Tala’s hand hovered above the banister. She didn’t recognize the voice, but remembering details wasn’t her strong suit.

“Positive,” a second voice replied. “My sister works in the kitchens of the castle, and supposedly the cook is already planning a grand feast for the event.”

“I can’t believe the kingdom is throwing such a large party,” the first voice said. “I mean, I get that it’s the princess’s birthday but—”

“Her one hundredth and twenty first birthday!” the second voice exclaimed over the sound of metal—silverware, perhaps? “That means she’s officially an adult! That’s a big achievement for elves! The party is gonna be big! Like, the entire city will be celebrating!”