Page 127 of Dickathlon

“Oh, wow! That’s incredible!” I said.

“Dante. Good name,” Ty added.

“Wait, is his son okay?” I asked.

“He’s recovered now, yes.”

“Whew, that’s-”

“Here you are, dude!”

Ugh, he found us.

“You remember Hailey, and this must be Taylor, your new plaything.”

“It’s Tyler, and I’m his boyfriend and his plaything, thank you.”

Ian ignored Ty, which infuriated me, but I didn’t want to prolong this encounter.

“I think he’s cute! You’re cute!”

“Shut up, Hailey.”

Sounded about right for Ian. What a lovely couple.

“So, Hailey, what do you do besides put up with this guy?” Ty leaned in conspiratorially and threw a thumb towards Ian.

“Oh my God, you’re funny too! Jackpot!”

“Freddie, I think you’ve met Ian before,” I said.

“Can’t say it’s a pleasure,” Freddie said, holding out his hand.

Ian shook it, then asked, “Are you gay too? Seems like everyone is nowadays.”

“Why? Are you interested?” Freddie asked, as Ian quickly withdrew his hand.

I almost spit out my drink. Instead, I managed to keep it semi-contained with a coughing fit. Ty handed me a napkin and I brought it to my mouth to muffle the noise.

“And I’m not gay, I’m demisexual,” Freddie explained. Whoa.

“Not gay either, actually. I’m bi,” Ty added. Bless him.

“Ooh, you know what they say about bisexuals,” Hailey spoke up. “Twice the…something about two times as many chances.”

I couldn’t help but laugh, which Hailey mirrored. Our camaraderie only seemed to increase the sour expression on Ian’s face. I regretted ever falling for him, but it made me even sadder to see that he could still manage to fool someone as sweet as Hailey into dating him for over a year. He could turn on the charm when we wanted, from what I remember, but after only a few minutes of conversation with him, I hadn’t seen any evidence of it.

Ian made some excuse about seeing someone familiar and made a hasty exit with Hailey in tow away from the three of us. I heard him raise his voice, and thought he said something about keeping her mouth shut, but there was a lot of noise and I couldn’t quite make it out.

Ty shook his head and took another sip. “Wow. He’s terrible.”

“So, Declan didn’t give you a heads up, Ty?”

“I tried to explain,” I offered.

“You really dated him in college?” Ty asked. “That guy? From just now?”

After my answer, he asked what I ever saw in him, and all I could say was that he was a different person back then.