Page 23 of Dickathlon

Oh. That’s not gonna work.

“What happened?”

“Your shoulder dislocated, causing you to fall off the bar. You hit your head-”

“What day is it?”

“You’ve been in the hospital for three days.”

I went to sit up. I didn’t understand. This wasn’t real. I saw my mom push a button. A nurse appeared.

“How are you feeling, Mr. Hale?”

How am I feeling?

“Respiration’s increasing. Can you focus on this light, Mr. Hale?”

Mister Hale? What the fuck?

“I think he’s panicking,” my mom said.

“I’ll get the doctor.”

“Mom, I can’t move my arm. Why can’t I move my arm?”

“You had surgery, Tyler.”

“Surgery?!” I tried to sit up, but I couldn’t. I didn’t have the strength.

I saw her hand shake as she texted somebody. She must’ve seen me watching her.

“Dad. Everyone’s in the waiting area. And yes, Tyler, you had surgery on your shoulder. You tore your rotator cuff. You also have a bruised tailbone and a concussion.”

My rotator cuff.

I read it on her face. It was bad.

“You’re hiding something, Mom. I can tell. What aren’t you telling me?”

I watched a single tear cascade down her cheek. She sniffled and wiped it away.

“It’s over, isn’t it? I’m done competing.”

She took a deep breath, then said, “There are other doctors we can go to. He might not be the one for you. He said-”

I didn’t hear the rest of what she said or what the doctor said when he finally arrived, other than ‘ten percent chance to return to former levels of strength and function’ and ‘risk of permanent damage’.

I did get a lot of partial hugs and kisses from the whole family. They were all allowed in after the doctor spoke to me. I did my best to smile. It was awkward. No one knew what to say - a first for our family. The quiet allowed me to slip into a catatonic state and no one seemed to mind. I was still trying to process everything.

I had just felt my soul shatter and I couldn’t do anything to escape the replay of it in my mind.

6

Declan

LOS ANGELES

After Christmas Eve, Freddie and I became fast friends, and we both got what we wanted.