Page 20 of Wicked Queen

“No. Yes. I don’t know.” I cradled my baby bump and willed myself not to cry. It seemed like I should have run out of tears by now.

“I’m sorry. You said to drop it.” Edward jumped to his feet and forced a smile, but it wasn’t his boyish grin. The fun and games were over. There were no parties or private shopping dates. Even lunch out was impossible. The paparazzi had been insufferable since his wedding. I couldn’t imagine how vicious they would be now. We’d blinked and our whole lives had changed.

“I thought we should get her room ready.” I decided to take his cue and focus on why I’d asked him to come over. “But I have no idea where to start. It’s clean. These are her things.”

“But will she want any of them?” he asked, echoing my thoughts from earlier.

“I wouldn’t,” I said and his eyes flashed to me. “I’ve been thinking about it. I would feel trapped in a life that wasn’t really mine, but…”

“She’s not you,” he finished for me.

“I knew you’d understand my predicament.” I sighed with relief.

“So you called your GBFF.” He turned in a circle, a frown on his face.

“My GB-what?” I asked.

“Gay best friend forever. Every fabulous woman needs one.” His mouth twisted into a smirk. It wasn’t his usual grin, but it was something. I’d take whatever scraps of humor I could find.

“Am I a fabulous woman?” I asked with a much-needed giggle.

“Hello! You’re the Queen of England,” he said. “You are the definition of fabulous.”

I shook my head, wishing I could believe it. Being in here only reminded me that most of the time I felt like a fraud. “What if she hates me?”

“What if she hates me?” he repeated.

“You’re her brother.”

“That’s no guarantee. My father hated me,” Edward pointed out.

“Your father loved you,” I said softly. Sitting here, I realized how much he had loved his children. I had to assume he hadn’t reserved all his affection for his daughter. “I think this room proves that. He couldn’t let her go.”

“Maybe he should have,” Edward said. “Clara, I-I feel angry. About Anders. About Sarah. My father changed all of our lives without a thought to how any of us would feel about it.”

My feelings on Albert were beyond complicated. He’d stepped in front of a bullet to save his son’s life. He’d treated me cruelly, but he’d given me a future. Death had taken him before I could ever know him, and now I never would. That was hard enough for me. I couldn’t fathom what it was like for his children.

“I want to meet him,” Edward’s announcement called me from my thoughts.

“Who?” I asked, wondering what I’d missed.

“Anders.”

“You have.” I studied him for signs of a stroke. I’d been there on multiple occasions where both had been present. At least one of which that had been truly unforgettable.

“As my brother, not as a stranger,” he said, pacing across the room. He got to the other side and turned back to do another loop, his hands behind his back. “But he…”

“Doesn’t want anything to do with us?” I guessed. Edward nodded. “Give him time.”

“Time doesn’t fix everything.” His eyes flickered around the room as if it was concrete proof of that.

“No, it doesn’t, but he’ll come around.” I’d gotten to know Anderson Stone a little before Alexander’s revelation had screwed everything up. He would probably never get along with Alexander—the two of them were too similar—but there was a better than decent chance he would give Edward a shot.

“I don’t know how else to move past this.” Edward paused at the window. “I’m so angry with my father. I had more family, and it’s not just that he kept them from me, but that he let sadness take over his life.”

“Losing a wife and a child...” I shook my head. I couldn’t even fathom carrying that loss with me. I could barely handle this trouble keeping me from Alexander. It felt like my heart had been taken out of my body and locked up somewhere I would never find it. “If it came to that for me…” I stopped, realization crashing through me. “If it comes to that, I don’t know what I’ll become.”

“You will never be like that,” Edward said fiercely, lording over me in a way that made him look more like his older brother than usual.