Page 28 of Wicked Queen

“Don’t you dare,” I stopped him, struggling to maneuver my pregnant belly and uninterested limbs. When I finally managed it, I found him with his head in his hands. Crawling to him, I sat beside him and moved his hands from his face.

“I went too far,” he began.

“No, you finally went far enough.” I pushed his arms down and attempted to climb in his lap. “Oh for fuck’s sake, help me.”

Despite himself he laughed, and whether he realized it or not, he’d never sounded more relaxed, even if he was beating himself up.

“This will all be easier in a few weeks,” I said. “When I no longer feel like I swallowed a bowling ball.”

“You would…” He stared at me in confusion.

“Of course. Why do you think I wouldn’t?” I stroked his cheek, wanting to offer him some of the comfort he’d given me.

“You told me once that you could never…lose control,” he reminded me.

I had told him that, but so much had changed. “And you told me that you didn’t need it. That you weren’t really a Dominant.”

“I could be anything you need me to be. I will be.”

“I need you to be open,” I whispered. “I need you to give me all of you.”

“I hurt you,” he said in a quiet voice. “I left marks.”

“You hurt me, but you didn’t harm me. I would have stopped you if it was too much. You set a boundary line for yourself that was miles ahead of where you needed to take me, X, and you’ve been standing and looking at the distance this whole time.” I understood that now. The anger, the frustration—he’d been trying to live up to some imagined standards. It didn’t excuse everything he’d done, but it explained more than I’d ever imagined.

“I didn’t want to need it. Not after I realized I loved you. Not after you told me you couldn’t. My responsibility as your partner—as a dominant—is to make you feel safe. I had to respect those limits.”

“I know, and thank you.” I kissed him softly. “You gave me the space I needed to heal. In case you haven’t noticed, I eat like a horse, because deep down I’ve always known even when you’re trying to lock me up from dangerous people that you’ll let me walk out the door. I’ve always known you respect me and my limits. I’ve always known that deep down you’re just a puppy dog.”

His eyes flashed and he gripped my hips. “I don’t think I spanked you hard enough.”

“Oh, you did,” I promised him with a laugh. “But, seriously, X, we were different people then. We were falling in love. We didn’t think we’d even stay together.”

“In other words, we were idiots.” He kissed me.

“This doesn’t mean everything is okay, though.” If we were being open, I couldn’t keep that from him. “I trust you with my body. I always will, but…”

“I need to earn back trust in some other areas.” He pressed his forehead to mine. “I know, Poppet.”

“I just want to be clear that you can’t tie me up, give me the best orgasm of my life, and just get out of jail free whenever you screw up.”

“The best?” His boyish grin was so unlike him, carefree and happy. I melted against him, wrapping my arms around his neck, but it faded too quickly. “Then I should be clear. I still think you should consider one of the other estates.”

“Alexander, I can’t.” I shook my head, my mood darkening.

“Hear me out. Just until we sort this shit out. With my sister. With Parliament. I want you focused on the baby, not my mood swings.”

“I will keep that in mind,” I said, crossing my fingers behind his neck.

“But you aren’t going to listen, are you?”

“I think I’ve been pretty obedient today. Don’t press your luck, X.”

His hand slid under my stomach and his thumb found my clit. “Then let’s work on our communication for a while.”

“Yes, please.”

Chapter 12