Page 4 of Wicked Queen

“Clara,” she pressed. “Talk to me. I’m worried.”

“Everything’s fine,” I lied, wishing I had more energy to sell it. I hadn’t been able to sleep after Alexander had carried me to our bed and abandoned me there. Did I wish he had stayed? I’d told him to stop. Why did he only listen to me when I didn’t really want him to?

“Bollocks. You are practically comatose, and I would know, because I’ve seen you actually comatose.” She fell silent for a minute, her blue eyes narrowing. “You haven’t told him.”

“No,” I said quickly, “and I’m not going to. This has nothing to do with that.”

“He should know,” she started but I shot her a look that shut her up.

“No good will come of him knowing something might be wrong with the baby.” My husband was a mystery to me in many ways. This wasn’t one of them. I knew with absolute certainty how he would react to that news. I couldn’t stomach the thought of him trying to coddle me and protect me, not after what he’d kept secret for all this time. It would only add fuel to his belief that I was too fragile for his world.

“You shouldn’t face this alone.”

“I’m not,” I reminded her, “unless you’re going to…”

“Of course, I’ll be right here.” She dropped into a chair in the corner. “I just don’t understand how you deal with it. You two are like a roller coaster—up and down and bloody crazy. Sometimes it makes me nauseous just to watch.”

“That might be the morning sickness,” I said dryly.

“No, it is definitely e-motion sickness and I caught it from watching you.” She crossed her arms and I noticed for the first time the slightest hint of a baby bump as her shirt stretched from the movement. “The stress isn’t good for you or the baby.”

“I know.” I took a deep breath and forced a smile that I hoped was reassuring. “Everything is fine. We just had a little fight.”

“Stress bad,” she repeated defiantly.

“Got it.” I needed to change the subject because she was beginning to stress me out now. “You’re showing.”

That did the trick. She flipped her blonde hair over her shoulder, her other hand sliding down to the tiny swell and rubbing affectionately. “I know. Smith hardly lets me leave the house now.”

“Getting overprotective?” I guessed. Belle didn’t like to admit it, but I knew her husband was every bit as macho as mine was.

“No, he can’t seem to keep his hands to himself,” she said with a giggle.

“Oh that! Yeah, it’s a real problem for men like ours.”

“Men like ours?” she repeated.

“Cave-dwelling, beat-their-chest types. They enjoy seeing us knocked up as much as they enjoy knocking us up,” I said with a smile that was actually genuine, if a bit rueful. “Alexander won’t stop until we have an army.”

I said it without thinking and then I remembered that wasn’t possible. One complicated pregnancy was chance. Two was a sign. It felt like someone had hit me in the chest with a hammer. I gasped for breath and blinked against tears. A house full of babies wasn’t in our future, because I was damaged goods.

“Hey,” Belle said softly, coming to sit next to me. “We still don’t know that anything’s wrong and there’s no reason to think—”

“One caesarean might not be a big deal,” I sobbed, “but I’ll probably need another if the baby’s heart…” I couldn’t finish the thought. It was bad enough confronting the possibility that I would have to tell Alexander we shouldn’t have more children. When I had to face that something could happen to the baby growing inside me now I felt like I was going to crumble. I swiped at my eyes, embarrassed to have broken down so easily. “Sorry, I’m just…”

“Stressed,” Belle finished for me. She wasn’t accusing me just making me see the truth. “Clara, what’s going on? Do you need to talk?”

I wanted to open up and tell her everything, but I couldn’t. Not yet. Not before I had real answers about why Alexander had kept secrets from me. I still didn’t know if Edward knew, and until I found that out, it wasn’t my secret to share. “We’re fighting,” I admitted. “It’s normal stuff.”

“You’re the Queen of England,” she pointed out. “I’m doubting it’s normal stuff, but I understand if you don’t want to tell me.”

I bit my lip, trying to keep everything from tumbling out. This was my best friend. I told her everything. “I want to tell you, but I can’t. Not yet.”

“Like you can’t tell him about the baby?” she asked softly.

I opened my mouth to explain that this was different, but there was a knock on the door. Belle gave me a tight smile and went back to the chair in the corner as the doctor entered the room.

“Your Majesty,” he said as I swallowed a sigh.