Page 10 of Cross Me

Doctor Ball met us at the entrance along with a nurse who had been present for the birth of Elizabeth. An ounce of weight was lifted from my shoulders at the familiar faces, not enough to make a difference—but felt all the same.

“Your Majesty,” Dr. Ball said in a clipped tone, ushering us toward a private exam room. I appreciated him dispensing with the formalities in favor of getting down to business. “We’ll need to do a full physical exam. The nurse will take your blood pressure and other vitals.”

The nurse bustled around the room, laying out an exam gown for Clara and prepping a blood pressure cuff.

“We should do blood work as well and possibly have an ultrasound,” I said, stepping in. Clara had an appointment coming up where all of this would have taken place. I was unwilling to wait that long given the circumstances.

There was a moment of hesitation. Then the nurse hurried to a cabinet and began prepping a needle. Dr. Ball smiled uneasily. No doubt he was remembering some of the complications Clara’s last pregnancy had involved.

“I assume congratulations are in order then,” he said. “We can do our best to check her out and see what we can find out about the baby. We’ll do a blood draw and rush it to the labs.”

“And the ultrasound?” I pressed, wondering if I was going to have to issue an actual command. I was teetering on a very fine edge. The wrong word was liable to push me over.

“Unfortunately, we’ve been having difficulty with our machine. It might take a while to get one from obstetrics. I will phone down, of course.”

“That won’t be necessary.” Clara’s trembling had subsided and although she still looked small and scared holding onto a folded hospital gown, her words were spoken like a queen’s.

“We’ll leave you to get undressed.” The doctor stepped outside, holding the door open.

“I’m glad you’re okay, your Majesty. We’ll take good care of you,” the nurse promised before disappearing behind the doctor.

I turned away as Clara undressed, not trusting myself to the sight of her body. I wanted to touch her. To claim her. The need to possess her ached through my blood and burned deep into the marrow of my bones. “Don’t tell me you’ve developed a sense of shame?” she said to my back. It was meant as a joke, but her voice was hollow and lifeless. I couldn’t find the heart to even laugh. “You can turn around now, X.”

Even the few moments with her out of my sight had been excruciating. My eyes drank her in as I turned, studying her. She was so physically fragile. I’d once believed nothing could break her spirit. Then, I had wanted to protect her body. Now, I couldn’t help but look for a sign she was cracking elsewhere.

“Stop looking at me like that,” she demanded.

“Like what?” Had she seen the naked want in my eyes? Was she still angry about this morning? Could it be possible that after what she’d gone through, she wouldn’t see why I hadn’t liked the idea of her going to the symposium?

“Like I might shatter,” she said, her gaze darting away to the window and the world outside. She’d seen through to the truth I tried to bury inside me. She’d seen that I was afraid. “I’m not so easy to break, remember?”

“I know.” But I said it for her benefit, not because I believed it. How much could one woman endure before it was too much? I never wanted to find out.

“Do we know…?” The question trailed away. I couldn’t tell if she wanted me to answer what I knew she was going to ask.

I did anyway. This I couldn’t keep from her. “There have been no casualties reported so far. There have been some injuries and some people are being treated for smoke inhalation. All in all, it seems we were lucky,” I said, unable to keep the wild edge from my voice. A rational man—an outsider—would be able to see it that way. But I was no ordinary man and this was my wife. I couldn’t be rational about this. I couldn’t separate myself from the who and the what and the why.

“Do we know why?” This question she seemed more sure of like she didn’t want this answer, she needed it.

“We received some intelligence this morning—just in time. The assumption is that you were the target,” I told her. I wanted this to sink in. There was a time I wouldn’t have wanted to scare her, but I needed her to acknowledge that her life was different now. Clara craved control, but at what cost could I allow her to have it? Losing her was a price I was unwilling to pay, even if it meant a fight.

“No one knew I was coming, only a few council members and our security team. It’s as likely this was a group of radicals.”

It was a fair point, but I wasn’t about to concede. If there was even a one percent chance that someone who knew she would be there was responsible—it was unacceptable.

“Why wasn’t Brex with you?” I asked, ignoring her rationale.

“I sent him back. I wasn’t about to let a bunch of people get hurt just so I could make a clean getaway.”

“Christ, Clara, that wasn’t your call. You could—”

A knock on the door stopped my lecture before it got started. When Dr. Ball walked into the room, we were glaring at one another. He looked between us, probably sensing something was off, but didn’t say anything. The nurse bustled in and began taking vitals before drawing Clara’s blood.

“She’ll send those to the labs now. That shouldn’t take long. But I did find this.” He held up a small instrument that looked like the baby monitor we used for Elizabeth.

“Ultrasound machines have gotten much smaller,” I said darkly.

“We weren’t able to get the sonogram. This will help us find the baby’s heartbeat. No need to worry if it’s hard to find at first. There’s a lot of factors at this early stage. How far along do you think you are, Clara?”