Page 11 of Break Me: Smith and Belle

I shook my head.

He hung his own in shame. “I should’ve realized something was wrong. I’m sorry.”

“You should be able to trust a child with her mother,” I said fiercely. The too familiar ache of tears swelled in my throat. I didn’t have the energy to fight them. Thankfully, Edward never seemed to judge me when I started to cry. Instead, he wrapped his strong arm around my shoulder and pulled me close. It took me a moment to realize that he was crying, too.

“We’re a pair, aren’t we?” He said hollowly. “The prince who fell for the villain —”

“And his mental case best friend,” I added.

Edward didn’t try to argue with me. He seemed to understand that sometimes the best thing anyone can do to help a friend is let them confront their fears. He gave me a safe space to face who I saw in the mirror and what I feared I was becoming. I didn’t need someone to tell me I wasn’t crazy. Right now, I was struggling to accept that I was. Most of the time I felt normal. But facts were facts, and I endangered Penny on that ice. I had been struggling since she came home to keep on top of everything. Right now, I seemed normal. Capable even. But I couldn’t help dreading the next time one of those moods took hold. What would happen then?

Or even worse, whom would I hurt?

“I got a call from Tomas,” Edward said suddenly.

I swiped at my tears and found myself smiling despite everything. “He likes you.”

“I doubt there’s many bachelors on the market here,” Edward said with more than a little self-deprecation. “He’s probably just desperate.”

“Yes, forcing himself to be interested in a handsome, funny, intelligent Prince. He really should have higher standards.”

“I thought we were being nihilistic“ Edward pointed out.

I gave him an apologetic smile. He was better at this best friend thing than I was.

“You can see yourself however you want,” I told him, “but don’t pretend that that cute guy is looking for a pity date when he calls you.”

“Okay, then, is this the part where I point out that Smith adores you more than ever?” he asked.

“Let’s focus on Tomas,” I said quickly. “I’ll do a better job feeding your self-loathing. I don’t know what he sees in you. I can’t believe he called—but what did he say?”

“That’s better.” Edward grinned. “He’s having a dinner party at the Briar Rose for New Year’s Eve. He invited us.”

“I don’t know if I’m up for a party,” I admitted.

“I thought you might say that,” Edward said. “I told him I would only come if you were there.”

“No! You should go,” I jumped in, realizing my mistake too late.

“Sorry. We’re a package deal.”

“You don’t want to drag along your sad sack best friend on a date with a hot French chef,” I told him.

“It’s not a date,” he said in a quiet voice, making me regret my choice of words. “He was just being nice.”

I clamped my mouth shut, knowing that this was about so much more than self-esteem issues. Edward wasn’t ready to think about things like dating yet, and I couldn’t blame him. But even hanging out with a hot, single guy seemed like a step in the right direction. “I don’t think I should leave Smith alone on New Year’s. It is sorta our anniversary.”

We’d eloped in New York two years ago, but our friends had surprised us weeks later with a second wedding during a New Year’s Eve party. It had also felt more like our real anniversary to me, because everything about it reminded me of the power of a fresh start. Smith had been where my life had truly begun. He was the beginning of everything for me.

“He’s invited,” Edward said, looking at me like this was obvious.

“Who is watching the baby?”

“You’re the one with a household staff,” he reminded me. “And your aunt will be here by then.”

“When my aunt hears there’s a dinner party, she’s going to expect an invitation. Just take her with you.” I couldn’t imagine asking Jane to skip a party to change nappies. I wasn’t even sure if she knew how to change nappies, come to think of it.

“Belle, it’s okay for you to do something normal.” The hesitation in his voice sounded like I wasn’t the only one he was trying to convince.