Page 14 of Break Me: Smith and Belle

We all waited for her to finish that statement, but she didn’t.

“If you’re sure,” I said, eyeing her to see if she was just being polite.

It was Jane that finally interrupted, “Oh Lord, just take the help. Penny will be in good hands. And I want to go dancing and I want to see you two dancing.”

Belle and I shared a sheepish look. That would require us putting our little disagreement behind us. I didn’t want to force her to forgive me because of some holiday. “Sounds good to me. If you want me to come, beautiful?”

I put it in her hands. I told myself that if she said she didn’t want me there it didn’t mean anything, except that she wanted to relax and be with her friends. But when she finally nodded, relief washed through me.

“Then it’s settled.” Jane clapped her hands. “A new year always reminds me that there’s not enough time to wait for the perfect moment. There’s only time to live.”

I found myself hoping she was right.

7

Belle

“I have nothing to wear,” I announced, coming out of my closet. I’d been in there for the last ten minutes shoving apart hangers and staring at dozens of choices. Nothing felt right.

“You have half of Harrods in there.” Edward strode past me into the closet and turned, planting his hands on his hips. He was already dressed in his outfit for the evening. Most years we wound up doing something that required tuxedos, but this year, given that we were going to a dinner party in the village, that seemed like overkill. That left me not knowing what to wear. Edward, as always, knew exactly how to rise to the challenge. He’d opted for a pair of well tailored charcoal trousers, a polished pair of Testoni loafers and a thickly knit sweater, its toggle button open at the neck to reveal a hint of the pressed white shirt below. He looked effortlessly effortlessly casual with his dark curls artfully combed away from his clean-shaven face. “You have one million things to wear in here.”

I followed him inside, shaking my head. “All of these were from before.”

“You have an expiration date for clothes now? Belle, you run a fashion empire,” he reminded me.

How could I explain to him that I felt differently now. “None of it will look the same. Nothing is where it used to be.” I waved a hand over my body, hoping he would get the picture. My boobs were still bigger than before Penny. My stomach softer. My hips fuller.

“You look fabulous,” he said, dismissing my concern.

“I don’t feel it,” I said softly. I rolled my eyes. “Just pick something for me.”

“I never thought the day would come that I got to dress you.” He looked as if I just handed him a belated Christmas gift.

“Fine, but nothing too flashy.” I didn’t want to draw attention to myself in the village tonight. Who knew what rumors were going around about the Prices and Thornham. He shooed me out of the closet.

“Be patient, and you will see how genius creates a legend,” he called to me.

“Legend? We think awfully highly of ourselves.”

His curly head popped out, plastered with a smug grin. “I’m royalty, remember?”

I sat down on the edge of the bed and began chewing my fingernails nervously. I still wasn’t sure about leaving Penny, even with Georgia here. But neither Smith nor Edward seemed willing to let me back out of the evening’s plans. I also didn’t have a leg to stand on. Given that I had been avoiding being alone with the baby, it seemed strange to insist on staying with her now. For some reason though, it felt like a bad idea. Then again, given my mental state, maybe I wasn’t the best person to make this decision.

Edward appeared from the closet a few minutes later, holding a dress bag. He smiled triumphantly as he held up. “Legend, I tell you.”

I stared at the black bag as I tried to remember what was inside.

“It’s perfect, and you’re going to look smashing,” he told me as he placed it across the bad. Edward unzipped the bag carefully to reveal a deep blue dress. It’s color was so dark it nearly looked black. Even on the hanger, I could see he was right. Sheer sleeves tapered to elegant sequined cuffs and its long, portrait-style neck in the same light chiffon allowed it to gracefully skim the very edge of where my shoulders would be before dipping into an open back. Its bodice was simple until it reached the waistline where sequins formed an erratic, but sophisticated pattern that accentuated the curve of the hips. From there scattered sequins fell like dark stars along the fabric to its floor-length hemline.

“I don’t remember buying this,” I said, fingering it’s sleeve. “It was probably from one of Bless’s designers. Isn’t it a little too dressy?”

“Honestly, I hang around with people who have to wear tuxedos to birthday parties, so I may not be the best judge,” he said, winking at me, “but I think it’s perfect.”

“I’ll try it on.” I wasn’t ready to commit to it just yet. I excused myself to the loo to change. From the moment, I slipped into the dress, I knew he’d chosen correctly. I felt like myself for the first time in ages. There was no huge baby bump changing the way it looked on me. It wasn’t trousers and a sweater meant for mucking around the property. It was elegant and sophisticated and sexy—exactly what I wanted to wear to bring in the new year. But I wasn’t ever going to be the woman I’d been before. Wearing a dress couldn’t change that. Maybe I needed to pick something more suitable to my life at Thornham and leave London Belle behind moving forward.

Edward tapped on the bathroom door, and I opened it. His eyes scanned me before he let out a low whistle. “You’re going to wind up pregnant again if you wear that.”

“In that case, I’m changing.” I pushed past him, but he caught my wrist.