Page 97 of X: Command Me through Alexander’s Eyes

“I see that since you couldn’t sway me with your threats, you switched tactics,” I speak to him, ignoring Clara as much as possible.

“We both know how this ends.” He meets my glare with one of his own. “The tart’s quite pretty, but you aren’t serious about her. Why do more damage to her reputation?”

I force myself not to look at her. I tell myself I can’t show her I care about his cruel barbs. It will undermine everything.

“You know the expectations,” he says. “I’ve given you far too much latitude since you returned, but it’s time to accept your role in this family.”

And then I play my final move—I let him win at last. “I know.”

I can’t bring myself to look at her as I sacrifice the match to save the queen.

“I should leave you two,” he says, his eyes ticking back and forth between us. “Good evening.”

He closes the door, and a second later, a book flies across the room. I still don’t look at her. I keep my eyes on the door.

Walk through it.

Walk away.

Escape.

When I finally turn a cold gaze on her, she collapses to the ground. I do nothing. I command my limbs to stay locked in place—to ignore my heart crumpled on the ground. She blinks up at me, waiting, the last gasp of hope on her face.

My eyes flicker away.

There’s movement, and when I look back, she’s standing. Her eyes pierce through me, and I know she sees me for what I really am: cruel and controlling and irredeemable.

She steps in front of me, effectively forcing me to look at her.

She doesn’t touch me, and her voice trembles when she finally speaks, “I love you, Alexander.”

I close my eyes as the words hit me. Had I thought I could stop her from saying them? Had I even tried? My heart closes around them, tucks them away, and locks them in the darkest, deepest space inside it. It will be enough to know they’re there. I can’t let this change anything. It’s proof that I’m doing the right thing. She deserves a life I can never give her at my side—a life I can only give her by letting her go. I summon all the hatred I feel towards this place, towards the past, towards my birthright, and let it overtake me before I open my eyes. “That wasn’t part of our arrangement.”

I don’t stop her when she turns to run. I don’t go after her, even as I hear her wrenching sobs. This is always how it had to end. I’d known that from the beginning, and I’d been too selfish. Now she had to pay the price. I wouldn’t take any more from her.

After a few moments, I leave the room and walk across the hall, knocking softly on the door.

Edward opens it a crack, and I spot a note on the bed.

“Alex, I found a note from David. I think I really coc…” he trails away, tilting his head to study me. “What happened?”

“I broke her.” I won’t lie to him. He needs to know. He needs to see. There are no happily-ever-afters for men like us. That’s the stuff of fairytales. “Find her. Get her home?”

“Are you okay?” he asks in a low voice.

For some reason, I laugh. “It doesn’t matter. It’s done.”

I turn away and walk into the darkened corridor, disappearing into the shadows. I watch as Edward leaves to go after her. When he’s out of sight, I follow, sticking close to the many corners and nooks in Norfolk to hide me. Coming around one, I stop and move back into the shadows as Edward leans over her and whispers something.

From the darkness, I see her lift her head. “I fell in love with him.”

She doesn’t have to say more. Edward picks her up and carries her off—away from me and this world. I continue to follow behind them, watching as he helps her throw clothing into her bag. I lurk as he hugs her and places her in a car bound for London. When it’s driven far enough from the estate to be nothing but a speck in the summer twilight, I finally step from the shadows and move towards his side.

“Why?” he asks, not looking at me.

“You know why,” I say gruffly, not trusting myself to talk this through.

“You can still go after her,” he says, sensing my thoughts.

“Why prolong it?” I turn from him back to the house where my future waits—my duty and my punishment.

Edward calls out before I take another step, “Do you love her?”

I pause. I hear what he’s saying. This isn’t only about her and me. This is about this world. “Does it matter?”

I leave him there and return to my prison, ignoring the hollow space in my chest as my heart races back to London.

It’s for the best.