Page 42 of London Dynasty

That did the trick.

“What?” she exploded. “You’ve been there like ten minutes. He must be really hot.”

“It’s not like that,” I said.

“Then tell me what it’s like,” she said. In the background, I heard the familiar flick of a lighter and then a long drag as she lit her first cigarette of the morning.

“He’s not what I expected.” I didn’t know how to explain it. Not without sounding crazy. That was the trouble with this whole situation. It was inherently mental.

“How was the sex?” Trust Eliza to get straight to the point.

“Phenomenal,” I admitted softly. “Better than I imagined.”

She giggled. “I had a feeling it wasn’t going to be as bad as you thought it would be.”

“He made sure that I enjoyed it,” I said, feeling a bit guilty for sharing the intimate details. There was no one else I could talk to about this openly. Only a few people knew the truth. I wasn’t about to talk to Tod Belmond about the things I was doing while bearing his daughter’s name. There was no way Giles and I were going to discuss my sex life. That only left Eliza. But Eliza had something else I needed. She was a bridge to my old life. She was a reminder of who I really was. After a night with Spencer, I needed that connection.

“At least you’re enjoying yourself,” she muttered. “The pub is full of wankers coming to the country on summer vacation. I wish I were you.”

I hesitated long enough that Eliza finally said, “Kate?”

“I’m here.” It was the slap in the face I needed. Hearing my name was like a bucket of cold water poured over my head. I’d been living a dream. I’d been playing at a fairytale. It was time for a dose of cold, hard reality. “I think I like him too much.”

“Oh.” I heard another long drag. “Look, think of it as a perk. You don’t have to go to bed with some guy you hate. You’re not the one being forced to marry him. It’s not your life that’s on the line.”

“I think that’s the problem,” I admitted with a sigh, sinking into the pillows on my bed. Kerrigan’s bed, I silently corrected myself. “I can’t help but feel like I’m making choices for her, and that’s not my place.”

“Think of it like you’re an actress,” Eliza said brightly. “You’re playing a character. Someday she’ll come back and take over the role.”

“That’s what I was afraid you would say. Doesn’t that mean I should think about her future?”

“Why? She’s not. And it’s not like she can’t come back and refuse to marry him or divorce him or whatever,” Eliza said casually, and I envied her easy dismissal of the ethical concerns at stake. “You do what’s best for you. And ten million pounds is best for you. If you get to enjoy some hot sex at the same time, why feel guilty about that? Just focus on the moment and enjoy yourself.”

“Eliza,” I said in a soft voice, “what if I fall in love with him?”

She took the longest drag off her cigarette I’d ever heard. “Don’t.”

“I wish it were that simple,” I said flatly.

“You barely know him, Kate. You can’t be in love with him.”

“I said what if I fall in love with him,” I pointed out.

“And I told you not to do it,” she said, repeating her advice. “Look, enjoy the sex, but keep it casual. Don’t open up to him. Don’t share who you really are with him. Don’t let him open up to you. Keep it shallow. I’m talking wading pool deep.”

“I’ll try,” I said, but I wasn’t convinced I could.

“Okay, tell me the rest,” she said. “Is the house huge?”

I filled her in on the details of Willoughby Place and then described Sparrow Court. When I reached the description of Spencer’s flat, she stopped me.

“Wait! He has a brother?” she asked after I mentioned my run-in with Holden and his lady friend.

“A twin brother,” I said.

“You didn’t mention that until now?” she shrieked. “Is he available? Because Spencer is really hot. Oh my God, are they identical? Or is Spencer the hot one and then Holden is like the Picasso version of him?”

Despite the worry that had weighed me down all morning, I burst out in laughter. “The Picasso version?”