Page 37 of Cruel Dynasty

“Ask away, your highness.”

“Please don't call me that,” he said darkly. “I’d rather not be reminded of my title here.”

I nodded, murmuring an apology. It seemed that Edwards' life was as complicated as mine, at the moment.

“You can ask me anything,” I said.

“Was the engagement between you and Spencer arranged?”

“Yes, but we really do care for each other.”

“I picked up on that,” he said quickly. “But Beatrice mentioned that it was and then, there seemed to be some tension between you and Holden.”

“We have history,” I told him. I didn't go into details, because I didn't have any. But somehow it felt pertinent that Kerrigan and Holden had a relationship, even if it wasn't mine to claim.

He grimaced. “That does complicate things. But it's over?”

“I thought it was.” I wandered around the pool, trying to spot the goldfish in the water. But they hid from me. “I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do.”

“I'm probably not the best person to give romantic advice,” he admitted. “I haven't been very lucky in love myself.” The bitter edge of his words made my heart hurt for him, and before I could think better of it, I reached over and took his hand.

“How are you doing?” I asked. He stared at me for a moment and I realized how presumptuous I was being. Edward was kind, but we weren’t really friends. I dropped his hand quickly and shook my head. “I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pried into your personal life.”

“No, it's fine.” He took my hand again and squeezed it. “Everyone does it. I just get the impression none of them really care.”

“What do you mean?”

“Everyone's just going through the motions. No one knows what to think. David betrayed—” he cut himself off quickly.

“You?” I guessed. “You don't have to talk about this.”

“There are just things about his death that nobody knows. I can't talk about them.” He gave me a tight smile. “But now that he’s gone, I wonder if I knew him at all.”

“Why would you worry about that?” It was common knowledge that David had died as part of the plot against the monarchy. No one knew much more about what had happened, and the royal family had kept quiet about the details. It had been a scandal when Edward married. Now that his husband was gone, the press seemed even more interested in digging up dirt. I wondered what Edward had found in the process.

“It’s hard to explain. Once someone is gone and you're left with all the pieces of their life, you start to put those pieces together. I guess you want to recreate them like they are a puzzle that can be rebuilt,” he said slowly. “But sometimes the picture that starts to form isn't how you remember them.”

I listened without speaking. It wasn't entirely the same, but I understood what he was saying. I was trying to do the same thing, trying to figure out who Kerrigan Belmond was. I was trying to piece together her life with what she had left behind. But no matter how hard I tried, the picture seemed all wrong.

“I think I know what you mean,” I told him. “That must be hard. Is that why you're in Yorkshire?”

“I just wanted to be alone.”. He stared out on the land surrounding us, looking to some distant place I couldn't see. “Maybe I'm hiding. Everyone in my life is happy and in love. They're having babies and lives and….”

“It makes you think of what you lost,” I finished for him, and he nodded.

“I know I can't run away forever, but I just need more time.” He paused and then smiled shyly. “But you didn’t come here to hear my sad story. So, what are you going to do about having two gorgeous brothers in love with you?”

“I don't know if either of them are in love with me,” I said dismissively.

“I saw them last night. Trust me. They're both in love with you.”

Neither had said it. Spencer had hinted at it, but the words had yet to cross his lips

“Sometimes I wish I didn't have to choose,” I confessed to him.

His eyebrow arched and the smile on his face turned into a smirk. “Now that would shake up the aristocracy.”

I blinked, wondering what he meant. Then I realized what it sounded like. A furious blush painted my cheeks and I shook my head. “That's not what I meant! I just meant that I don't know if I'm ready to get married.”