Page 6 of Cruel Dynasty

“I think it would take a panel of psychiatrists to decide that.” He finally took a step out of the shadows and crossed to the sofa. Dropping onto it, he leaned forward burying his face in his hands.

“It’s more than sex. If it was only that, you wouldn’t have…” I trailed off, worried that I was pushing things too far. Spencer was right. The brothers might need therapy, but I was hardly qualified to give it.

“What? What did I do?” He didn’t look up at me. His face remained in his palms.

“After it happened...” I gulped, praying I wasn’t making a mistake, and plunged forward. “The way you touched me that night. It was like you needed to prove I belonged to you. I felt like you were claiming me.”

He finally peeked up through his fingers and sighed. “I was.”

“That’s the problem. If it was just about pleasure, I don’t think we’d be having this conversation. We might have had a hard time looking at each other over breakfast, but we wouldn’t be fighting.” If it could just be physical, things would be different.

“That’s what you wanted.” He sank into the back of the sofa, a gloomy expression on his face. “You wanted pleasure, and we dragged you into our fucked up game.”

“I shouldn’t have—”

“You did nothing wrong, Kerrigan,” he cut me off. “Holden kissed you. I led you to believe I wanted to share you with him.”

“And you didn’t,” I added.

“I did. I didn’t.” He shook his head. “Fuck, it’s not black and white. Can’t you see that? It’s why I need to keep you away from him.”

I realized then that Spencer wasn’t afraid of losing me to Holden. He was afraid that he’d give in to their game and regret it. Memories of that night flashed through me, turning my core molten, as I recalled how it had felt to have my lips wrapped around Holden while Spencer pleasured me. I would have taken things farther that night. Part of me regretted holding back. In that moment, I hadn’t known what would happen after or how either brother would respond. I’d lost my only chance at being claimed by both of them. I couldn’t risk encouraging any more temptation where they were concerned. I wasn’t strong enough to resist. And I wasn’t certain Spencer or Holden were either.

“We’ve shared everything,” Spencer continued, “but he’s a stranger to me. When we were kids...it’s hard to explain.”

As I listened to him struggle for words, I knew I had to make a decision. I took a deep breath and hoped I wasn’t choosing the wrong path. “Your grandfather made you compete against one another.”

Spencer lifted his head, confusion churning in his eyes. “How…?”

“Holden told me when he drove me home that morning,” I confessed. “He said that you were forced to become rivals to see which one of you would be the better heir.”

“And I won,” Spencer said grimly. “I suppose it’s better that way. Holden doesn’t want anything more than to fuck around with every pretty thing he sees.”

I hesitated, unsure whether to confess any more of what Holden had told me. It was one thing to admit that I knew why their relationship was strained. It was another to betray the choices Holden had made in an attempt to protect his brother. That was for him to reveal. But keeping quiet, left me in the difficult position of trying to help Spencer see what had happened from a different perspective.

“I think that’s why he wants you so badly. That and…”

“And?” I prompted. The more I understood what drove Holden, the better equipped I would be to deal with his flirtations. It would also help me ensure I could keep him from telling anyone else about his theory that I wasn’t who I claimed to be.

“He’s falling in love with you,” Spencer muttered, his gaze focused intensely on the window.

I laughed, unable to contain myself. “Holden is too in love with himself to fall for anyone else.”

“I know my brother.” Spencer’s voice remained as flat and lifeless as his eyes. “He wants you. I can’t blame him for that. I don’t even deserve to be the one who gets you.”

A weight lifted from my shoulders at his words, and I finally realized how keyed up I had been since my own confrontation with Holden earlier this evening. In its place I found sadness. I hated to see them being torn apart, and I wished there was something I could do to bring them together. But getting involved with both of them could only lead to disaster. We’d only narrowly avoided it before.

So, Spencer had admitted his twisted desires. Now that the initial shock had worn off, I knew we needed to find our way back to each other. Crossing the room, I dropped to my knees in front of him, a task made slightly more difficult by the fitted skirt I was wearing. I gripped his thighs, angling my head to catch his eyes, but he remained in the shadows.

“I belong to you,” I whispered. “I promised you that when I agreed to wear your ring. Whatever happens, we’ll get through it together.” I ignored the pang of longing that stabbed me as I made a vow I wouldn't be the one to keep. I could only hope Kerrigan would come to see that Spencer was worth the fight.

“I bought you in exchange for a title and a bank account,” he said miserably. “You barely know me.”

“I don’t know everything about you,” I admitted. “But I want to. That’s what we agreed, right? Tell me, if it wasn’t me, would you be free to marry anyone else you chose?”

“No.”

“The same for me.” I knew somehow that was the case. If it hadn’t been him, Kerrigan would have been traded like a commodity to another wealthy, important man. She was an asset in her father’s portfolio. While part of me believed Tod Belmond loved his daughter, the other half wondered if he knew how to love any other way. Did any of these people know better?