Page 82 of Handle Me

I thought of what Anders had said about this world and about his future. “I don’t see how we can work. He wants something entirely different than I do.”

She smiled. “A funny thing happens when you fall in love. You start wanting that person more than anything else.”

Maybe she was right. Maybe Anders would return and grovel. I wasn’t counting on it. Not when he was so stubborn, and I wasn’t about to do any groveling of my own. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”

“I see.” She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “What would you be doing if nothing happened between the two of you?”

“Probably throttling him,” I said dryly.

“Okay.” She giggled. “Let me rephrase. What would you be doing if you hadn’t met him at all?”

“Working. Hanging with friends. Working,” I repeated.

“There’s your answer.” She reached over and took my hand. “Your life didn’t end when you met him, and it didn’t end when you broke up. It’s right there waiting for you, and it’s excited to have you back.”

Begrudgingly, I smiled. “You’re right. Thank you.”

“Go home, call your friends, and go dancing. Do it for me since I can’t.”

“What about work? I’ve been letting things slip with Bless.” I’d been so consumed by Anders that I’d been doing little more than checking our company’s emails.

“Bless will be there whenever, and I’ve still got things under control until this little one shows up in a few months.”

“Thanks, Belle, really.” I suspected Clara would have given me similar advice, but I couldn’t face her so soon after telling her about my relationship.

Her eyes softened with sympathy. “I know you’re not the type of person who needs to be attached to someone else to feel happy, but you deserve that happiness, Lola. You deserve someone who will fight for you, and if Anders won’t, fuck him.”

She was right. I knew she was right, but the emptiness in my chest lingered.

She squeezed my hand. “Call me when you get home safely, okay?”

“Of course.” I shook my head, sending the tears spilling down my face.

“It’s going to be okay.”

“I know. I just remembered that I need to find a ride home. I came here with...him.” I hated feeling helpless, but I was glad I’d stood my ground even if I was stranded. “Do you think they’ll let an Uber pick me up?

“I think that might actually give Alexander a heart attack,” she said with a laugh. “Hold on. I’ll call my car service. Smith won’t let me drive in my condition.”

“What?” I couldn’t help giggling at that. “You’re barely showing, and he’s already this overprotective. How do you put up with that?”

“The orgasms,” she said, flashing me a wicked smile. “The driver is waiting nearby. It shouldn’t take long.”

“I think I’ll step outside until he gets here.” I gave her another hug and headed out. Belle was right. My life wasn’t over. I just had to get my head back into the game.

The driver pulled into the private drive a few minutes later, and I climbed into the backseat. I gave the driver my address and settled into the plush leather seat.

I thought of what Belle had said. I didn’t need Anders to love me. I deserved a man who would fight for me, and if he wouldn’t, I didn’t want him anyway.

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

ANDERS

I gritted my teeth and shifted up a gear before dialing back my differential. I’d barely made the same corner that had nearly flattened me six months ago.

“Give it up, kid, and bring it in,” he ordered me, his anger replaced by disappointment. I’d lost count of the number of times I’d heard those words in the last few weeks. He’d said it at least once a day since I’d gotten back from London and declared my pity party was over.

I hit the pit crew button on the wheel out of habit, even though I couldn’t bring myself to respond to Wilkes. He was right. I needed to get off the track and clear my head before my bloodstain became a permanent fixture somewhere on the asphalt. But that didn’t make it any easier to face the crew as I pulled into the pit.