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Chapter Six

Vivian woke just past dawn. For a few blissful seconds, she couldn’t remember why she was so warm. Then she heard the steady breathing beside her, felt the rise and fall of the chest beneath her cheek.

Dean.

She smiled before she could stop herself. Last night had been wonderful. Perfect, really. She remained still, replaying it in her mind, her smile lingering until another, more unwelcome emotion crept in.

Guilt.

She hadn’t felt any guilt after that stolen night in Boston. Probably because in her mind, it was a one-off. A one-night stand—her first—and something that she had taken just for herself. After all, she was a woman and she had needs. Five years was a long time to exist on self-induced, lukewarm orgasms. She had a healthy sex drive, always had.

Sleeping with Dean in that hotel had been an early Christmas present to herself, even though she’d known it was something she could only play with once.

Then, he’d followed her home from the café. Again, she’d simply jumped in, taking what she wanted without considering what came next. Honestly, at the time, she’d truly believed nothing could come next. She had a young daughter to raise and the idea of introducing a man into Pip’s life scared Vivian spitless.

So, she’d dismissed the negative emotions, like guilt and regret, convinced they weren’t necessary. She had scratched an itch, no more, no less, and never again.

That was the lie she’d been telling herself until she saw Dean standing next to Pip and her broken bicycle yesterday. That was when her long-dormant uterus popped out an egg because…damn…the image of Dean holding that training wheel, talking so sweetly to her daughter, had done a number on her hormones.

Maybe resisting Dean would be easier if the man wasn’t so damn hot and nice. One or the other, she could resist, but he was the complete package of sexy, compassionate, funny, sweet, and sexy. Sexy bore repeating.

She’d enjoyed sitting around the firepit, listening to Victor and Dean share hockey stories and watching him help Pip assemble the perfect s’more. She caught him in the act of looking at her across the flames more than once. Probably because she’d been trying to steal peeks at him as well.

It had been so, so long since a man had looked at her with that much desire, and it spoke to her lonely soul. Still, as they’d walked toward their cars, her brain screamed at her to say good night—but her body had other plans.

She had offered the invitation, he’d accepted, and now…

Vivian had never anticipated sharing this bed with any other man than Phil. And that was when all the lies she’d been telling herself about Dean fell away.

Her brain short-circuited, her emotions going haywire.

She had to get out of here.

Vivian carefully slipped from the bed, trying not to wake Dean. He murmured something unintelligible and rolled onto his side, one arm stretching across the space she’d just vacated.

He was seeking her out in his sleep. Her heart squeezed and she was tempted to crawl right back into bed.

Stop it, Viv.

She padded to the bathroom, quietly closing the door behind her. The early morning sun spilled through the frosted window, bright enough that she didn’t need to bother turning on the vanity light.

She rested both hands on the sink and studied herself in the mirror. She might only be thirty, but there were days when she felt as if she was a hundred and thirty.

This morning, she looked younger. With her mussed hair, lips puffy from Dean’s kisses, and eyes that looked…

She paused.

Her eyes looked sparkly. Happy. She blinked several times, as if she could drive those feelings out, though she didn’t know why she should have to try.

“How?” she whispered to her reflection.

How the hell could she feel this happy?

How could she lie in another man’s arms and wake up smiling?

How could she laugh around Victor’s fire, watch Pip learn to ride a bike, and kiss Dean good night, all without thinking of Phil?

She hadn’t gotten to this point in one blinding aha! moment. No, she’d been creeping here half an inch at a time for five years.