Page 50 of Hard to Love

“You asking?” We laugh harder now.

“Yeah, thinking I don’t want to go alone. Besides, you’re sure to liven the place up.” Fucking asshole.

“True that. What…what should I say to her?” I ask, needing help from someone like never before in my life. The silence grows as we sit there.

“Come on over, and we’ll figure it out,” he says, trying to console me as best he can.

“You know all hell is gonna break lose, don’t you?”

“Sometimes, Hardy, you have to walk through hell to get to heaven.” The kid’s got the point.

“When did you get so smart?” I ask, trying to lighten the moment.

“When did you become such a dumb ass?” Chord questions flatly.

“I’m on the way over.” Shaking my head, I toss my phone on the seat.

On the road to Chord’s house, I go back to how this all started. I knew it was a lost cause, but she made me believe. Believe we would work. Believe that love could conquer all. Where the hell did it all go wrong?

Chord opens his front door as I pull up. Lulu comes barreling out, all fur and slobbers. Just like the first time meeting Thayer. Knocking her down, Lulu kissed her all over until she laughed. It was the most perfect moment.

“Hey, girl, I’m happy to see you too. Chord.” I nod in his direction.

“Come on in, man. I’ll grab some beer, and we’ll strategize.” Sounds like a plan.

We sit, talking about everything as the football game on the television plays in the background. He asks me time and time again how I plan to win her back. I have no fucking clue. That’s my reply every time. And then he asks the million-dollar question.

“What happened?”

“What do you mean, ‘what happened’? You’re starting to sound like One; you might want to mix it up a little,” I snap at him.

“Dude, we’re trying to help. We may sound like a broken record, but you’re getting nowhere.” Chord leans forward.

“You were there. I didn’t tell her I was married and that my wife was pregnant when she overdosed. Thayer can’t forgive it.” Glaring at his idiotic question.

“Yeah, I was there, but that’s not what made her walk away.” What the hell is he talking about?

“Then what did? Because from my place on the floor where she left me, she left me for those reasons.” Leaning forward, I set my elbows on my knees to listen. If he’s willing to help, I’m eager to listen.

“Whether you choose to believe it or not, we love you, Hardy. We all met that day at Thayer’s office because we had been worried sick over you. Why can’t you understand that we love you? No matter your past, your mistakes, or even your misgivings.” Chord’s words carry conviction. His voice shaking as he delivers each word. Damn. “You’re family. With or without you being with Thayer. I prefer it be with her, though.”

“From your lips to God’s ears. So what happened?” Repeating his words, I sit in silence.

“Hardy, it was never because of your past. There’s no way she wouldn’t still love you if that was so. Think about it.” Grabbing my keys before I can protest, he says, “I’m going to pull your truck into my garage. Don’t want the whole family flipping shit on me for harboring a fugitive.”

Looking around, I see a blanket and pillow on the end of the couch where Lulu lays. Chord had already planned on me staying the night. He’s as good a person as his siblings. Thayer. Thinking of her brings tears again. How the hell will I ever fix this? When Chord comes back in from moving my truck, I quickly wipe my eyes.

“Chord, thanks, man,” I say, pointing toward the bedding. He nods and starts through to his bedroom. Pausing, he turns to me.

“Hardy, she loves you. Think about how you would feel if Thayer didn’t believe you loved her. Or if she would’ve ever had doubts you believed in your love for each other.” He smiles.

“I would’ve never chanced losing One for anyone else. I believed in her, just not me. I had no clue she would hold on to me the way she has. She must believe I’m worth the fight.” I grind my palm into my eyes to dissipate the waterfall that’s sprung from them today.

I wake the following day, gather my things. and quietly leave. I’m not sure where to go or even what to do at this point.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Thayer